Witness Game 7


See this picture, folks? That’s King James grabbing a rebound. A recent photo, right? Well, no. Clue #1 would be the fact that the Cavs are playing the Toronto Raptors in the above picture. The Raptors didn’t win many games this year. A team needs to win to make the playoffs. The Cleveland LeBrons won many games. They made the playoffs. They’ve been playing in the playoffs for some time now. They are playing the Pistons. The Pistons won a lot of games this year too. They also play in the playoffs.

One may use a second clue to determine that the picture is not from Friday’s Game 6 against Detroit. Cleveland, in the last minute of the game, forgot how to rebound. Sure, this could be a picture from early in the game when LeBron did get a rebound. But it’s not.

James was actually seen speaking with guard Flip Murray saying, “You stupid-ass- motherfucking-bitch-ass-trick, GRAB the ball.”

Murray didn’t grab the ball, rather he slapped at it like, well, a little bitch. Chauncey Billups then did what Murray couldn’t do, and grabbed the ball. He was fouled. He made a free throw. Detroit won the game.

The lesson: rebound the ball (or get Dennis Rodman to come out of retirement to rebound the ball for you).

We imagine The Cavalier, over at YAY Sports! NBA, was yelling this at his TV right after the game: “Bleep! Stupid motherbleeper. If I was playing I’d just get the bleeping ball. Bleep! I hate you. Bleep!”

After he got over the initial anger of having a good chance of a victory a mere rebound away, he had this to say: “Bleep! Stupid motherbleeper. If I was playing I’d just get the bleeping ball. Bleep! I hate you. Bleep!”

Time can really heal the wound.

In other news: Former Oklahoma State basketball coach Eddie Sutton has decided to retire after being informed that they do not sell alcohol in OSU’s arena.

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