Mailbag time

Announcer: We have a great show for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. We’ll be breaking down sports, college life and relationship needs all in the next hour of the Jenn Sterger Mailbag. And here’s your host…Jenn Sterger!

Jenn: Hi everybody! It’s great to see you! I’m so happy! Go ‘Noles! I have so many wonderful e-mails but I can only answer a few in our time together tonight. Here are the ones that I like the most.

Hey Jenn! Big fan. Longtime reader, first-time writer. My girlfriend is being tough lately. All I want to do is watch the NBA playoffs and she wants to have sex. She even told me that I could put it “anywhere.” But I’m glued to the TV. What should I do?
–Jimmy, Glendale, Ariz.

At Florida State we go to football games. We wear low-cut shirts and cheer loud. When the home team wins, we’re happy. When they lose, we’re sad. But it’s ok, because we still go to one of the best academic schools in our wonderful country.

With four FSU defensive players — Sims, Wimbley, Bunkley and Cromartie — going in the first round of last month’s draft, what does that say about Florida State’s player development?
–Lance, Orlando

At Florida State we go to football games. We wear low-cut shirts and cheer loud. When the home team wins, we’re happy. When they lose, we’re sad. But it’s ok, because we still go to one of the best academic schools in our wonderful country.

With big-name players like Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart and Vince Young moving on to the NFL, who are some players to watch next season?
–Sam, San Diego

At Florida State we go to football games. We wear low-cut shirts and cheer loud. When the home team wins, we’re happy. When they lose, we’re sad. But it’s ok, because we still go to one of the best academic schools in our wonderful country.

Hi, Jenn. My girlfriend is considering getting breast implants, but she plays competitive soccer frequently? What advice should I give her?
–Darren, Mobile, Ala.

At Florida State we go to football games. We wear low-cut shirts and cheer loud. When the home team wins, we’re happy. When they lose, we’re sad. But it’s ok, because we still go to one of the best academic schools in our wonderful country.

Jenn: And that’s all the time we have, folks! Thanks for reading! And remember: Go ‘Noles! Bye!

(See the e-mails that were not read here).

In other news: The Kansas City Royals dropped their 12th-straight game after losing 6-3 to the Bad News Bears.

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6 Responses

  1. That was brilliant. You’d think that making fun of the Jenn Sterger phenomenon would get old. But no..it really never does.

  2. Nice post. Very funny.

    Speaking of Sterger … when is that Playboy coming out with her in it? Anyone?

  3. it’s out already! there was one fucking picture of her. that’s it. one. boo.

  4. And she showed only one boob as she was covering one.

    The school that gave us “wide right” has now given us “hide right.”

  5. Love that line Adam. That’s a classic.

  6. Thanks, Benny. I think I’ve used it enough.

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