Would you do…Melissa Stark?

Why we might:

The easy answer: She’s really freakin’ hot — nice hair, eyes, chest, legs, feet, chest.

The more in-depth answer: Stark majored in Foreign Affairs and Spanish while at the University of Virginia. Now you’re thinking we like the idea that she could talk dirty to us in multiple languages and could probably say, “Wow, you’re hung like a fucking Clydesdale!” in Spanish.

(It’s “¡ah, usted es colgado como un caballo que jode!, by the way.)

But somehow we see this Foreign Affairs thing leading to diplomatic, peaceful intercourse. Or Turkish-prison-style where you come out of it not knowing what or who has taken hold of your dong. Fun times.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: She’s so hot that we could never enjoy banging a normal girl after running through her.

The more in-depth answer: Stark does work for MSNBC. We’ll be caught sawing off our leg before watching that channel. We aren’t too bothered that she works for them; it’s just that they’ve probably rubbed her with some “Boring” powder. This could lead to missionary sex without movement. Much like the British.

The answer: We would, hesitantly, but it’d take 8 Long Islands. Oh, don’t get us wrong, the Long Islands aren’t for us. We figure the only chance we have at Stark is if she’s blacked out. (This seems sorta rapist/Duke LAX, thus the “hesitantly”).

All right, folks. Your turn to decide if Stark is worth a cheap screw: post a simple “Y” (for yes, “I’d run through that shit”), or “N” (for no, “I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole”) in the comments sections. And because Stark is mind-blowingly hot, write how many Long Islands SHE would need before she slept with you.

Standings: Rachel Nichols was 6 “yes” and 2 “no.” Suzy Kolber was 7 “yes” and 2 “no.”

In other news: Albert Pujols hit his 25th homerun Monday and has reached an endorsement deal with Balco.

-Adam Landres-Schnur

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41 Responses

  1. Y – I’ll go with only 1 Long Island cause I can lure her in with the whole “So you went to UVA too?” line…

  2. id do her in a heartbeat, and thats how long itd probably take too, shes smokin hot!

  3. Y! Too easy! But I think I’d have to buy her a bunch of long islands, or somehow become better looking or successful.

    She strikes me as the all business type to do whatever it takes to advance her career. Maybe if I was her boss…

  4. Y – I think she’d need to get lubed up on a couple of dozen Long Islands because I wouldn’t be able to use the “I’m Adam Vinateri” thing with her that I used when I was single.

  5. I’d tell her I had pics of her blowing Al Michaels and hope I could bluff her into a fluffer.

  6. “She’s so hot that we could never enjoy banging a normal girl after running through her.”

    Um, sure.

  7. Y-Just one because I’d put some roofies in her drink….just kidding. Okay..Melissa Stark’s people I’m just kidding.

  8. Y…. there is no question here.

  9. I would make unbelievably sweet sweet love to this woman.

  10. Of course. One Long Island iced tea for each of us just to relax and then off for some hot, sweaty, nasty sex. I hope she doesn’t get upset that I’d pick Erin Andrews over her.

  11. This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
    »

  12. I would let her use handcuffs on me to tease and tickle my sensitive ribs and then I would let her have it with my pole

  13. Best combo of skills and beauty in the business … ever.

  14. Y Yeah, she’s up there with Erin Andrews and Stacey Dales.

  15. yes, i would but john madden should do the play by play. “AL did you know Melissa has breasts?” “Boom, there they are”

  16. You are a little weak in your Spanish knowledge.

    To be well hung is not to be “colgado”, it means to be well endowed. i.e.: tener una verga (pene) grande.

    Than it makes sense with the horse (caballo).

    Best regards

  17. (YYYY)es! I’d lick the bottom of Linda Cohn’s shoes to manhandle Melissa mammaries — and every other body part of hers. Too bad she’s practically disappeared on PMSNBC. The sports world needs her all-universe body back on the sidelines & not what she got from NBC during the Turino Olympics. Too bad she didn’t take up Playboy on their offer to pose for them, even if she did finish second to Jill Arrington. She could lay in the sack like a dead fish for all I’d care. There wouldn’t be a hole of hers that would go unpenetrated with my throbbing dick!

  18. y
    Done in 15 seconds

  19. big yes on Melissa Stark

  20. Yes, I would break her in half.

  21. Yes I’d go there but 1 long island wouldn’t be enough for me… i’d need a pint before going there just so i wouldn’t squirt in my pants.

  22. definitly yes, i’ve gotta have it, and she’s gonna get it

  23. Well, since Charles Oakely has already weighed in in such graphic detail, I’ll just say yes.

  24. y – I can’t begin to explain how happy I am for Melissa that she’s completely undefeated. This is unprecedented, and must be awarded. In the immortal words of Wreckx N Effect, come and get your award; here’s a hint it’s like a long sharp sword. Never understood why that dude’s donger was sharp, but you get the point – and so can Melissa Stark

  25. no. not to in to the short hair thing, if her hair was longer, than i would pop some wood into her mouth

  26. I would wreck that chick

  27. Abso-freakin-lutely. She better win this game.

  28. OH HECK YES I WOOD!

  29. Hottest thing I ever saw on MNF was when they cut back to Stark before she was ready and they caught her dancing to Who Let the Dogs Out! Everytime I hear that song I think about her and the sweet music we could make with our bodies.

  30. Seriously… you need to ask if a dude wants to bang her?

    YES

  31. yes, yes, yes. a trillion times yes. tagging THAT tail would never, ever, get old.

  32. Giddy-up!

  33. Wish this poll were still open so I could make it non-unanimous, along with the poster above with the “short hair” comment.

    I’m the same nut that wouldn’t do Jeanette Lee, and I wouldn’t do Melissa Stark either. She always treated people with respect, and I want to show that same respect back to her. I actually miss her more than I miss MNF.

  34. A hot fellow Wahoo who loves sports? my tongue would be working overtime

  35. She got pink socked by mike groh. true story

  36. Knew her growing up as her dad trained me in eye surgery. She was a hot little number all through high school. A really nice girl too. You could hang with her even without the sex

  37. My dream chick. Finest chick in the land. inside scoop was she liked the hoops players at UVa.

  38. MEGA HOT

  39. Yes Please

  40. N–Not into blondies

  41. Y – and I’d use my tongue, fingers, and cock to give her multiple orgasms.

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