Yanks take down Germans once again

Not satisfied with the USA’s dominant victories in World Wars I and II, Dwyane Wade and Shaquille O’Neal (Americans) stuck it to Dirk Nowitzki (German) as the Miami Heat won their first NBA championship, beating the Dallas Mavericks 95-92 and taking the series 4-2. Being unsure how to take this joke any further without offending anyone, we’ll just offer some thoughts on the Finals:

– Why does Wade spell his first name Dwyane? Shouldn’t it be Dwayne? We don’t pronounce it “Dwa-yane” do we?

– Nice to see Gary Payton and ‘Zo get rings. Those guys have been through a lot and deserve to be champs for once.

-Nice to see Mark Cuban lose. What a tool.

– We love Shaq, but he didn’t prove he can win one without Kobe. He proved he still needs Kobe or someone even better in order to win.

-Pat Riley is like, apparently a pretty good coach.

-Love Avery Johnson. He could probably fit inside the Larry O’Brien trophy.

In other news: The NHL Stanley Cup Finals also concluded this week, and somebody beat someone else to win it all.

-Jamie Costello


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