Some may call Alyssa Milano a pioneer, others may call her a whore

Milano (center) with Brad Penny (lef) and Barry Zi, err, some old guy (right)

Alyssa Milano is, what we like to call in the blogging industry, a child star. She was eyeball fucked by starred opposite of Tony Danza on Who’s the Boss? for a while and really didn’t do much else. Sure, she was in that movie with Marky Mark called Fear and none can forget her role in Dinotopia. But her career was never the same after she stopped calling Tony Danza “Dad.”

But now Milano, known in sports circles as that B-list actress who’s down to romp with MLB pitchers (read: Carl Pavano, Barry Zito and now Brad Penny), has teamed with some apparel company to start a line of MLB clothes for ladies.

The line of clothes, labeled Touch — cute, huh? — will supposedly feature “high-quality fabrics” and “body-contouring silhouettes.”

Translated into non-women talk: expensive shit that will hug your body like flies to cow dung.

Really this is a sweet thing Milano is doing. She’s trying to get a guy’s girlfriend to be more willing to accompany her man to the game by wearing slutty clothes of her (or his) favorite MLB team. She’s bringing couples together under the lights.

So, as the headline suggests, Milano is a trailblazer. Or ho. You be the judge.

Norv Turner update: Despite the 49ers’ embarrassing 23-7 loss to the Oakland Raiders, our BFF, Norv Turner, is still employed as the Niners’ offensive coordinator.

In other news: The Falcons traded running back T.J. Duckett to the Redskins Tuesday for a cup of coffee, a scone and the morning paper.

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16 Responses

  1. I could point out that Alyssa Milano has starred in “Charmed” for the last 8 years, but that would be an admission that I’ve actually watched the show.

    So insteaad, I’ll just mention that you missed this (nsfw) from her resume.

  2. I hope it was a blueberry scone… otherwise they got robbed.

    And in response to that last comment: HE-llo!

  3. Actually I kinda think Norv is a decent 0-Coordinator… just a horrible head coach.

  4. i was aware of the whole Charmed thing, Insomniac, but mentioning her role in that somewhat hit show would only legitamize her.

  5. She starred as Arnold Schwartzenwhater’s daughter in “Commando.” And here we were grooming you to be the heir apparent to The Hater Nation.

  6. LOL…and her love affair with pitchers all started with the perpetually injured Pavano? This needs some investigation. After a breakup, Milano trashes Pavano’s manhood in FHM, cept she then goes for Zito ANOTHER Italian pitcher? Doesn’t seem right to me…if you had deficiencies in the Italian MLB Starting Pitcher gene pool…why go back in for another dip? Enter Brad Penny…six degrees of separation (ok..one degree of separation), he’s a starting pitcher, around the same height and weight as Pavano, oh and an EX-Marlin, but not ITALIAN….? HHHMMMMM… I say…. She’s a ho and she doesn’t doesn’t like Italian Sausage. CSI..look OUT! All in all… She traded up…Penny was at least an AllStar this year…Carl was on the 15 day DL for something like 600 days give or take a few.

    Pavano traded down, he went from Milano to a former beauty queen from Long Island. She got a little Jewish action going on with the nose, not cute AT ALL, well maybe in a bulldog puppy sorta way, and she does have baseballs implanted on her chest… but, all the papers DO list her as a FORMER beauty queen, so maybe she was FORMERLY cute? dunno when I saw her picture my heart sunk, he’s reached the epitome of low in his career, dating a 22 year old washed up Jewish beauty queen from Queens…he use to date ALYSSA MILANO, I’m gonna go say a novena.

  7. She’s a ho…whore…slut…tramp, any of those words would suit her well.

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