TO wasn’t listening in Mr. Parcell’s class

Word has it that Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells said some pretty motivational/important shit the other day about what it takes to win a championship.

But Terrell Owens, who has never won a championship — well, maybe in high school. Or flag football. Or on Madden ’06. But never where it really counts. — wasn’t listening. Said Owens:

“The championship speech? I must have went to sleep on that one. I can’t remember. I had my mind on the party. I have no earthly idea of what you are possibly talking about. I don’t remember. I was already in L.A. … He’ll have to redo it.”

This, Terrell, is what we call daydreaming. We know you were excited about your party and all. Sounds like it was fun. But the number one rule of daydreaming is don’t get caught.

Terrell, you dumb fuck, you got caught. Openly admitting you weren’t listening is a weakness. When we would daydream in school, and the teacher would call on us, we would:

1. Give the “dear in headlights” look
2. Come up with a generic answer, like, “The author makes a good point there.”

TO needs to take a class on dicking off. Will there be repercussions for Owens the Party Animal? If we were Parcells, we’d probably squash TO’s nuts with a mortar and pestle. But expect the player and coach just to laugh this one off.

In other news: The Chicago White Sox traded pitcher Freddy Garcia to the Phillies for pitcher Gavin Floyd and an unlimited supply of Philly cheese steaks.

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