Michelle Wie is suddenly smart

You’ll be lucky if your beer comes in bottles in college

Smart enough to get in to Stanford anyway. (Though we imagine her golf game helped get her admitted. Or she slept with the dean).

The 17-year-old (she’s not even legal yet?!) will enroll at Stanford in the fall making one think she won’t be concentrating entirely on her golf game for now.

“No one really believed me (because I was high as fuck),” Wie said from Orlando, Fla., where she is working with swing coach David Leadbetter. “Now that I got into Stanford … it was one of my dreams (along with becoming a man so I can get the hell away from Annika. Fuckin’ lesbo.), and I want to go through with it (because I have plenty of money already, so fuck it, why not get an education too?). I definitely want to go there and really try to graduate. (I mean, it’s not like I’m actually going to graduate. But this way, some dickhead blogger won’t poke fun of me for being rich despite not having a college degree).”

This seems similar to the route of some other famous golfer. Start playing at a young age, go to Stanford, play some more golf, turn pro, win some tournaments, nail some hot supermodels, play some more golf, etc.

Was it Mark O’Meara? Corey Pavin? Fuck no. Pavin would never bang a supermodel. Must’ve been Ernie Els.

Oh, Tiger Woods, you say? He went to Stanford? Right. Bet he got a great education too. As for the supermodel, yep, she must be with him for his charming personality.

So you may not be hearing from Ms. Wie anytime soon. But if you happen to be a student at Stanford, check in with Michelle for us. See if she wants to go to a frat party. Don’t slip her Roofies though. The gal has deep pockets.

In other news: The Denver Nuggets traded Andre Miller, Joe Smith and two first-round draft picks to Philadelphia for the right to claim Rocky Balboa as a native of Denver.


6 Responses

  1. she can’t even play golf there right? she’s already a pro. she must actually want to get an education

  2. But Wie can’t play at Stanford right? Because she lost her amateur status.

  3. Yeah, she might actually mean that education thing — she’s definitely ineligible under NCAA rules.

  4. Why go to college then. I didn’t go to college and look at how well it worked out for me.

    Other than dying, though. I don’t think college would have helped me there.

  5. I like sports
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  6. michelle wie might actually might want to go to colege..
    she’s trying so why not let her..
    though shes pro shes not playing well these days so she might grap aanother career..

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