The Dennis Green Survival Rating: Final Episode

We’re running a new feature here at The Big Picture, called the Dennis Green Survival Rating. Because Green’s chair is so ass-burning hot, we thought we’d take a weekly look at how Green is surviving as coach of the Arizona Cardinals.

Much like EDSBS’s Chuck Amato Survival Meter, the Dennis Green Survival Rating will analyze just how screwed Green is by comparing him to royalty. Why royalty? Because, “if you want to crown ’em, crown their ass.” When Green reaches the “King” level, he’s as good as fired.

And, folks, the time has come. The Arizona Cardinals front office has finally crowned Green’s ass and has sent Denny to the unemployment line.

Green, after leading the Cardinals to a disappointing 5-11 record, was fired Monday, after going 16-32 in three seasons with Arizona.

Those miles away saw this coming. Ever since the debacle against Chicago in Week 6 of the season, Green’s buttocks have been sweating. That’s around the time we started this little feature, where we follow the weekly survival chances of our dear Green.

But for the last time, Green has been given the throne and he has reached the King Level Ranking this week, signaling the end of his regime in Arizona. And with the lack of success the last three years with the Cardinals, we’ll have to wait and see if Green will have a new regime anytime soon.

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One Response

  1. Going to Arizona is never a good career choice.

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