Would you do…Sam Ryan?

Why we might:

The easy answer: Sam Ryan. Say it out loud. Everybody now. The name just sounds hot.

The more in-depth answer: Ryan has “soccer mom” written all over her. She has two little kids and lives in the charming Long Island, NY community of Smithtown. Ryan just breathes suburbia, which, frankly, gets a rise out of us.

Maybe she’s like a bored housewife too (she’s married to some tool named Jeff) and has all sorts of naughty day dreams and thoughts swirling through that acute mind of hers.

Back to the soccer. Yeah, her at your child’s soccer game? We’d let her distract us too.
Why we might not:

The easy answer: She graduated from Sachem High! Dirty slut! OK, not really. We have no idea what or where Sachem is. Though she’s born and raised in New York, so we imagine she has that, “Don’t fucking talk to me, asshole” attitude.

The more in-depth answer: Ryan is not her maiden name. (Aaagh! Sam Ryan sounds so hot — almost pornstar-y). Get ready for this bomb: her maiden name is Dombroski! Yikes! Sam Dombroski. That’s an anti-hot name. (Not that we’re ones to talk about last names).

Sam Dombroski. Yuck. We did some sleuthing and found that the name Dombroski is polish, and that if she was alive in 1880, chances are she would’ve been a farmer. Or a paper mill worker. Or a Polish minx.

Luckily, Sam got married and now has a hot name. And we’re also lucky that it’s not 1880. She may not have been a female sportscaster in 1880, so she couldn’t participate in our little game. Though if it were 1880, we think she’d still be a female.

The answer: It’s hard to get a good look at Dombroski…err…Ryan — we’ve seen a bunch of varying shots of her. She looks a bit older than she should (we estimate her to be in her late 30s based on year of high school graduation). At first glance you expect wrinkles, but they just aren’t present; there’s just something that seems a bit off. But she knows her shit, is on board with suburbia and if you tell your friends you reamed a chick named Sam Ryan, they’ll instantly think she’s hot. For the record, let’s call it two Long Islands and a shot of Everclear. The Everclear’s for her. To “let the hair down.”

All right, folks. Your turn to decide if Ryan is worth a cheap screw: post a simple “Y” (for yes, “I’d run through that shit”), or “N” (for no, “I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole”) in the comments sections. Add how many Long Islands it would take to convince you (or her) to go bananas in the bedroom.

Standings (also found on right sidebar):

Rachel Nichols was 18 “yes” and 3 “no.”
Suzy Kolber was 34 “yes” and 4 “no.”
Melissa Stark was 19 “yes” 0 “no.”
Lisa Salters was 16 “yes” and 12 “no.”
Kit Hoover was 9 “yes” 1 “no.”
Erin Andrews was 40 “yes” and 1 “no.” (The one “no” was from NFL Adam who is being talked to about starring in Brokeback Mountain 2.)
Linda Cohn was 8 “yes and 9 “no.”
Bonnie Bernstein was 22 “yes” and 2 “no.”
Jeanne Zelasko was 7 “yes” and 4 “no.”
Andrea Kremer was 6 “yes” and 8 “no.”
Pam Oliver was 30 “yes” and 6 “no.”
Heather Cox was 7 “yes” and 2 “no.”
Michelle Bonner was 16 “yes” and 4 “no.”
Michelle Tafoya was 10 “yes” and 3 “no.”

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30 Responses

  1. Yes. She’s got a Sarah Jessica Parker cute-horseface thing going.

    But it’ll take 4 LIs now, one for her and three for me, because that page shot makes her look kinda like Michael Jackson, and I’m gonna need to get that out of my brain.

  2. I saw her recently during a football game or something and I was ready to throw down. 100% yes from me. Total MILF.

  3. Very much so

  4. Yes, please.

  5. yes. hell yes. i’ve been masturbating to her since her msg days.

    and to the guy who used “cute” and sarah jessica parker in the same sentence, you’ll probably bang anything.

  6. lozo – yes, save Andrea Kremer and Michele Tafoya.

  7. Funny, I was just thinking of suggesting to you guys that you put a “Would you do…” up for Sam Ryan.

    And the answer is yes

  8. Anyone voting “no” needs to consider the fame factor in conjunction with how awesome of a story you’d be able to tell. Sure Linda Cohn could be your mom’s friend with a sloppy ass and an asexual aura, but still you could tell anyone you met that Linda Cohn has a sloppy vag, but she more than makes up for it with her willing attitude and agressive talk. And know that for a fact.

  9. Yes, the comparison to Sarah Jessica Parker notwithstanding.

  10. In.

  11. she is one if the few who looks better in HD. I think yes after 3 LIs

  12. and incidently, what exactly is a “cute-horseface” thing?? do you masturbate to pictures of Smarty Jones?

  13. I’d totally touch Sam Ryan’s dirty parts, without hesitation.

  14. No!

  15. Yeh, I’d do her…

  16. she’s working the super bowl. niiiice. I like.

  17. I’ll have one of those please.

  18. Way too thin … no tits … I’d probably enjoy watching her suck me off, but wouldn’t get too excited banging her.

  19. No, No and NO. Her name is Not even Sam Ryan. It’s Denise Dombrowski. Her married name is Herbst.
    Watch her long enough….she has some kind of palsy in her left eye-it does not blink with her right. She has an adams apple to make any tranny proud.And you’re right….she’s got that ‘I’ll tease you but you ain’t gonna f##k me and if you try I’ll have you arrested look.
    You people are too damn horny.

  20. Y, In a heart beat

  21. Yes

  22. Guys, she’s a whore!!! She does a lot to get where she needs to be in the business. She did that one black guy that used to be on baseball tonight on ESPN (his name I can’t recall) and he bragged about her and got fired! And notice she isn’t doing much either do to this reputation. No way she’d tease you and not let you in…she’d tease you with her tongue on your….

  23. y

  24. her name is denise dombrowski… she’s prob pushing 40 at this point, and was quite the little vixen at sweet 16 parties back in the day 😉

  25. N
    Fugly, IMO

  26. NO
    Looks like several thousands of diollars of work done on that face. Horrible lip job. It looks like the opening of Rocky Horror

  27. Denise Dombroski….no “w”. If you’re gonna make fun of her and pretend you know her, get it right. She may have been a vixen at 16 but NO WAY would she screw the black guy on ESPN….she’s actually happily married and her husband is NOT a tool.

  28. She is a really nice person. Yes her name is Denise Dombrowski. My brother graduated with her. I lived on the same block as her, and graduated with her sister, who is also very nice. “Sam” is a very down to earth girl who, despite her great looks, does not think she is better than anyone.

  29. Oh, a ridiculous YES. And half the time, I’ll watch her with the sound off, anyway…

  30. Sure, I’d bang her but would much prefer nailing Ms. Ryan standing up in the shower from behind…At least then I wouldn’t have to look at her bad lip job. Hmm, guess that’s the same way I’d do Sarah Jessica Horse-face too.

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