Ron Artest hates dogs

File this under things so fucking far-fetched that we couldn’t have possibly made it up.

Animal services officers seized a Great Dane from the mansion of the Sacramento Kings star, saying the dog was underfed.

Neighbors complained for weeks that the dog — named Socks — appeared to be starving inside a gated area on Artest’s $1.85 million estate in rural Loomis, according to a county report.

This confirms multiple things:

1) Ron Artest is, in fact, crazy
2) His dog’s name is Socks.
3) Artest hates dogs
4) Ronnie doesn’t like to feed bitches (the dog is female)
5) Artest doesn’t have a membership to PETCO (or PETA).
6) He lives in fucking Loomis, Calif!
7) Artest has a Great Dane, not a Dachshund.
8) Did we mention that Artest is a fucking lunatic?
9) Ronnie’s house is only worth $1.85 mil?! Record/CD sales alone could pay for that.
10) Hey, we made it to 10! And only used one repeat item! Hooray!

Maybe Ronnie’s upset that the Kings aren’t playing well. Or perhaps he’s still pissed at that guy who threw some beer on him. We wouldn’t advise any of you to take your rage out on a dog by not feeding it. Cruelty to animals will not be tolerated. Not for a fucking second…


11 Responses

  1. Diane Lane is totally on the MILF Actress List.

    C’mon Ron, how easy is it to have someone come over once a day and fill the damn food dish and water bowl?

  2. If Artest doesn’t like his dog and his dog’s name is socks, does that mean that Artest doesn’t like socks?

    Smelly feet…

    -Darren @

  3. Dude, no fair using photo shop.

  4. I’m pumped for the episode Animal Rescue: Sacramento where they bust into Artest’s house.

  5. Artest is a weird weird man.

    And I agree about Diane Lane. If she was on Would you do… my answer is a definite yes.

  6. Socks… What a cute name… Does that imply anything else???

  7. Wait a second…those pics were photoshopped? The images were integrated so seamlessly, I never would have known!

    $1.85 mil might not seem like much to big time playas like you and me, but look what it can buy you in Loomis.

  8. That photoshop work is soooo terrible… yet oh so funny.

  9. glad you’re all digging the photoshop. especially those headshots. fucking incredible work, i must say.

  10. No seriously, if you are going to be bad at it, be really bad.

  11. Oh how can they do it?? We as dog lovers protest against this.

    see you

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