Would you do…Stacey Dales?

Big, big thanks to everybody who played in the comments Monday. There were all sorts of great suggestions and we really appreciate so many different opinions. (We were expecting like six comments, so thanks for your thoughts. Really).

With that, Stacey Dales is the choice. There are a lot of factors that go into picking a “subject” — namely adequate material (usually a Wikipedia page) and enough pictures to choose from. A lot of the suggestions in Monday’s comments didn’t have enough material for us to do an entire post on. (Though the suggestions from Monday will be considered for future posts).

Anyway, Signal to Noise and rstiles, you can arrange your tug-job from NFL Adam whenever you like.

Why we might:

The easy answer: She’s 27. Tight. (Note the dual meaning).

The more in-depth answer: Dales is Canadian, born in Collingwood, Ontario. It’s not like she’s exactly foreign, but she is Canadian. Meaning — yep — notch on the belt.

Lose virginity? Check.
In public? Check.
Threesome? Check.
Black chick? Check.
Back door? Check.
Canadian? Check.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: 34-24-36 Six feet, 155 pounds.

The more in-depth answer: Man, she’ll tear your fucking heart out. If you recall, Stacey, for a brief time, went by Stacey Dales-Schuman. Schuman was her husband. But no more.

If you’re the type who gets attached after sleeping with some one, Dales is not for you. Just when you think things are all sunshine-y — bam! — knife in the back.

The answer: Dales is like a fucking chameleon. Here she looks hot as shit, while here she looks like, “Eh-I’d-nail-her-if-I-hadn’t-gotten-laid-in-two-years-hot.”

It’s tough — she’s cute, but not hot. And we’re not so much into the athletic type, though you might be. For the record, let’s call it four Long Islands (make ’em stiff) and a line of coke.

All right, folks. Your turn to decide if Dales is worth a cheap screw: post a simple “Y” (for yes, “I’d run through that shit”), or “N” (for no, “I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole”) in the comments sections. Add how many Long Islands it would take to convince you (or her) to make the magic happen.

Standings (also found on right sidebar):

Rachel Nichols was 18 “yes” and 3 “no.”
Suzy Kolber was 34 “yes” and 4 “no.”
Melissa Stark was 19 “yes” 0 “no.”
Lisa Salters was 16 “yes” and 12 “no.”
Kit Hoover was 9 “yes” 1 “no.”
Erin Andrews was 40 “yes” and 1 “no.” (The one “no” was from NFL Adam who is being talked to about starring in Brokeback Mountain 2.)
Linda Cohn was 8 “yes and 9 “no.”
Bonnie Bernstein was 22 “yes” and 2 “no.”
Jeanne Zelasko was 7 “yes” and 4 “no.”
Andrea Kremer was 6 “yes” and 8 “no.”
Pam Oliver was 30 “yes” and 6 “no.”
Heather Cox was 7 “yes” and 2 “no.”
Michelle Bonner was 16 “yes” and 4 “no.”
Michelle Tafoya was 10 “yes” and 3 “no.”
Sam Ryan was 14 “yes” and 2 “no.”

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