An open letter to SEC commissioner Mike Slive

Dear Commissioner Slive,

See the enclosed photo? That there is a beautiful thing. Storming the court is as important to college basketball as Psych 1 is to the curriculum.

But you’re taking that away. You’re taking it all away. And we want it back.

After we upset No. 1 Florida, we did what any good college hoops fans would do: we stormed the fucking court like the French did the Bastille. And the school is getting fined?!

All due respect Mr. Slive, but fuck that shit. It’s one thing to rush the court when it’s not appropriate, but we beat the top-ranked team. We were unranked! That’s like a big, gigantic, huge upset. Mr. Slive, even you know that merits a celebration.

Yet you think storming the court leads to an unsafe environment? Ever hear of Snakes on a Plane, Mr Slive? That shit was unsafe. If you continue to keep us down, what we’ll do to you will make snakes on a plane look like unicorns chasing fucking rainbows.

Is that a threat, you ask? Damn straight it’s a threat, Mr. Slive. Thing is, we don’t want to cause trouble. We don’t want anybody to get hurt — in fact, that’s exactly the opposite of what we want.

In times of excitement and sports ecstasy, all we want to do is keep a wonderful tradition going. We want to celebrate with each other, the players…

But you have taken something from us. And we want it back. Now.

Snoochies,
The Vanderbilt Student Body

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6 Responses

  1. Here Here

    Snooch To the Nooch.

  2. Slive is also the head of the BCS. So this dick is trying to single handedly ruin TWO sports!

  3. More people may end up getting hurt by trying to stop the students from charging the court…

    Just let the kids go on the court…they eventually disperse….

  4. BCS schools should stay the hell off the court. Vandy makes so much money, they have no excuse not to have a top-flight hoops program.

  5. since the “cowbells” were banished from games w/MSU, why don’t the officials throw a flag & issue a 15 yard penalty for ‘unsportsmanlike conduct’ every time the cowbells ring? if they are going to be allowed, then the rule against them should be deleted.

  6. 2007 has been the WORST year for officiating we have ever seen. too many games have been won (or, lost) by the officials — not the opposing teams. sad – sad – sad!

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