"Would you do…" Tournament: No. 4 Melissa Stark vs. No. 13 Linda Cohn

(If you don’t know what the hell the “Would you do…” Tournament is all about, read this first).

Will the bracket hold true to form? Not if Cohn can pull the upset…

No. 4 Melissa Stark:

Why we might: She’s really freakin’ hot — nice hair, eyes, chest, legs, feet, chest.
Why we might not: She’s so hot that we could never enjoy banging a normal girl after running through her.
Regular season “record”: 22 yes-0 no (the only perfect record).

No. 13 Linda Cohn:

Why we might:
She’s Jewish. C’mon, you know what that means: likes to drink, likes to party, likes to take it in the pooper fool around. But being Jews ourselves, we’ve come to know such women rather well (wink, wink). And we know they don’t put up a very good fight against dudes who hit on them. Get it? Huh, well do ya? THEY’RE FREAKIN’ SLUTS! No reason to think Cohn is any different.
Why we might not: Born November 10, 1959. 1959. That’s like before Dinosaurs roamed the earth. (Or cavemen, if you ask Carl Everett.).
Regular season “record”: 11 yes-9 no.

It’s in your hands now. Rock ‘n’ Roll, bitches.

Who would you rather do?
Melissa Stark
Linda Cohn
pollcode.com free polls


22 Responses

  1. Not even close. The fact that Linda Cohn loves hockey couldn’t help her with me.

    Melissa all the way.

    (Erin should have a perfect record too. Thanks, Adam.)

  2. I’ll tell you what, if people get off this Erin Andrews craze, it is quite possible that Melissa Stark pulls the upset when they meet in the semi-finals…

    What hurts Stark is that she is not on ESPN 3 or 4 times a week anymore…she doesn’t get the exposure that Andrews gets…if Stark was on TV more often, I think she could win it all…

    Heck, now that Stacey Dales is on ESPN at least 4 nights a week, her stock has gone up big time…

    This tournament is not a lock for Andrews…

  3. I can not deny that absolute hotness of Stark. If this contest was who would you like to stare at naked, it would be no contest.

    But Cohn, she’s asking for a banging. Just watch her mouth when she’s on SportsCenter and you know it’s on.

  4. Melissa Stark should be at the worst a #2 seed. Erin Andrews is the Duke of this competition – she’s just getting by on reputation.

    Melissa Stark is UCLA.

  5. Stark is a MILF now too………..Shes hot and classy looking………Cohn is the epitome of needing beer goggles.

  6. this just isn’t fair.

  7. Stark over the Transvestite gone wrong.

  8. Gotta be Melissa.

  9. to quote old-school john mcenroe “c’mon! you CANNOT be serious!”

    i’m sure linda cohn is a lovely, wonderful woman, but this makes david v. goliath look like an even match-up. this one’s like a lion vs. a chihuahua, mcdonalds vs. arbys, the royals vs. any other mlb team except the pirates. let’s get on with this….

  10. Stark is taking this thing if i have any say

  11. I have heard, on good authority, that Cohn is much hotter in person.

  12. i think the stark/andrews matchup in the semis (if it happens) will be your mythical nat’l championship!

  13. How is Stark a 4 seed? Pam Oliver is better looking? Come on, she is good looking but there is no plausible explaination as to why the Finals shouldn’t be Stark and Andrews. THAT WOULD BE A CHAMPIONSHIP!

  14. I see a tough match for the 3 seed coming up

  15. Two Words . . .


  16. Dee Mirich thinks Linda Cohn is hot.

  17. Gotta be Cohn, C’mon let’s not forget what Kornhieser said “Cohn’s got 12 (toes) the hard way”

  18. Stark is a pretty but blank slate. Cohn has experience on her side (you look at 1959 one way, I see it in another) and tons of personality. Plus she’s way better-looking now than she was five or 10 years ago. She’s going to lose, but that will take a lot of the fun of this tournament away for me when she’s gone.

  19. Melissa Stark is the only one that might give Erin Andrews a run for her money

  20. One more thing – should Melissa even be in this tournament? Last I heard she was done with sports and doing morning stuff on NBC. Does she really qualify as a “sports babe” anymore?

  21. legit point…she’s like the equivalent of a ‘roided ballplayer i guess.

  22. How ’bout Linda Cohn?

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