The NL Central seems upside down


No, you’re not drunk. Well, you might be. Are you? It’s pretty early for that, no? Boss wouldn’t much appreciate that. If he asks what’s on your breath, tell him it’s mouthwash. He’ll never suspect a thing.

But you are reading that graphic of the NL Central standings correctly. Milwaukee…hold that thought…

Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.
Pete: Hey, isn’t “Milwaukee” an Indian name?
Alice: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact, it was originally an Algonquin term meaning “the good land.”
Wayne: I was not aware of that.
Alice: I think one of the most interesting things about Milwaukee is that it’s the only American city to elect three Socialist mayors.
Wayne: [to the camera] Does this guy know how to party or what?

…Sorry. We’ve been known to get carried away. What we really wanted to say was that the lovable Brewers are in first place — an unusual spot for them no matter what time of year — and hold the Majors’ best record at 17 good days and 9 not-so-good days.

Sure, sure. “The Brewers are a hot, young team. They’ll be there in the end. This is their year.” Blah blah blah. The Brewers in first place — albeit early — is about as normal as, well, Alice Cooper enlightening avid fans about the city of Milwaukee.

The Brew, followed by Cincy and Pittsburgh is normal, but not when it’s one, two, three. More like four, five, six. And with the Cubbies, Cards and ‘Stros in the collective cellar, this division seems turned upside down.

Are we grasping at straws here? You bet we are. Very little blog-worthy action going on as we write these words. This is what happens when we get writer’s block. We make sweeping, dramatic claims and try to find ideas in virtual thin air.

Anyway, we’re a month into the MLB season and NL Central standings don’t seem right.

Now go and get some Algonquin pussy.

[Somewhat related: What’s going through Joe Torre’s head.]

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10 Responses

  1. In fact I took a day off work and I am heading to the Cubs-Pirates afternoon game today…

  2. plus they gotta finish last nites game. here we go bucs. that .500 record is something i dont get to see everyday

  3. An extreme close up of the actual teams though and it’s not that out of whack. The Astros blow, the Cardinals are obviously in a hard way right now (and were only a .500 team last year anyway) and the Cubs only seem to have improved on paper. Don’t sleep on the Brewers. Shlemiel Schlemasel.

  4. St. Louis has to be the worst World Series team to ever win. The proof is in how they’re playing this year.

    And I got stuck with Puljos as my overall #1 fantasy dud. So I’m extra angry.

  5. This division is just awful… Brewers are OK, Cardinals might be decent, but everyone else sucks.

  6. The AL Central, however, is juuuuust right. Tribe is on the warpath.

  7. Wait a minute, somebody quoting that riff from Wayne’s World… where have I seen that recently.

  8. Hey, there’s a reason I have 6 Brewers on my NL Central only fantasy team.

  9. Does this guy know how to party or what!

  10. My World Series pick of Milwaukee over Cleveland doesnt look so bad now does it?!

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