The NBA Lottery drinking game

Today’s NBA Lottery is just about the best event the NBA has to offer besides the NBA Draft, an NBA arrest, or an NBA game involving Stephen Jackson.

We’re big fans of the lottery, not because it’s fair (load of shit, if you ask us), but because it’s about the only exciting thing happening right now.

So in honor of today’s lottery, here’s the unofficial NBA Lottery Drinking Game, which should, like, make it even more fun:

-Take two drinks if Pau Gasol is Memphis’ representative.

-Take four if neither Memphis or Boston wins the lottery.

-Take five if either Memphis or Boston wins the lottery.

-Kill the drink if a cutthroat motion is made by the Memphis or Boston rep after missing out on the top two picks.

-Take three when you first realize that Bill Simmons’ next column will involve the Celtics and the lottery.

-Take one when you see Isaiah Thomas for the first time.

-Take three more when Thomas gives his shit-eating grin.

-Kill it, get another and kill that shit too if Adam Morrison is Charlotte’s rep and he’s wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt.

-Take five when the Hawks have to give their pick to Phoenix.

-Continue to sip for every second of awkward silence.

-Take three if there’s a Kevin Garnett trade rumor.

-Take two if the Maloof’s are there.

-Every time Kevin Durant or Greg Oden’s name is mentioned, take a drink.

-When whichever team wins the lottery, if a commentator then says, “the ball bounced _____’s way,” get a fucking keg.

See how this works? Good. Give us your best in the comments.

12 Responses

  1. I loved the last comment about getting a keg…

    Great stuff today….funny!!!

  2. take 3 if the winning team’s representative does any of the following:

    -fist pump
    -jumps up and down
    -lights a stogie
    -whips it out and starts going to town in celebration.

    actually that last one gets more like 20,000 drinks

  3. Take a drink every time an analyst uses the word “upside”.

    Go get a Duff 96 pack if David Stern asks Boston or Milwaukee about tanking.

  4. i hate being a boston fan because we cannot win. the chance that we dont get in the top two is about 99%. If we get the second pick, hello Kevin Durant. If we get the first pick, fucking retard danny ainge will pick Kevin Durant. God i hate the celtics, but i love them too.

  5. Take 3 drinks when the ESPN flunkie asks the winning team who they are going to pick, then take 3 more when the team’s representative avoids answering the question

  6. How about a drink for every 7-foot representative crammed into those game show-style seats.

  7. …events like this should be hosted by Kenny Mayne to point out and poke fun at the irony…

  8. Do a line of cocaine every time they mention Len Bias after the Celtics get the top pick.

  9. so yeah I’m playing that tonight…..i suggest 3 drinks for the first person to pull out a lucky horseshoe

  10. LINE OF THE YEAR goes to NFL Adam….that is some funnnnnny shit….LMAO!!!

  11. that was a lot of drinks πŸ™‚

  12. ζΆ²εŽ‹ε‡ι™ζœΊοΌŒζ–½ε·₯ε‡ι™ζœΊοΌŒδΈζ†ε‡ι™ζœΊοΌŒζ›²θ‡‚ε‡ι™ζœΊοΌŒη”΅εŠ¨ε‡ι™ζœΊ

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