Would you do…Allison Stokke?

Why we might:

The easy answer: She’s legal. Half your age + 7, motherfuckers!

So: 23 ÷ 2 = 11½. 11½ + 7 = 18½. We’re gold!

The more in-depth answer: Talk about Internet fucking sensation.

Stokke, just a high school senior — high school! Interpret that however you like. — had her picture find its way onto the Net. From there, well, her stock will never be higher. She’s got a MySpace fan page, for fuck’s sake.

Getting a girl like this would be a prize right now.

If you could brag about bedding three chicks, who do you take?

  1. Stokke
  2. Carmen Electra
  3. Jessica Biel

Maybe that’s a stupid question. Our answer to that is a no-brainer. (Electra). But you see our point, right? This girl is an Internet sensation. She’s at an all-time high, so you gotta make the most of it while you can.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: Inexperienced.

The more in-depth answer: At this point, with all the drama surrounding this poor girl’s unwanted attention, is it really worth it? Frankly, we wouldn’t be surprised to go on a consensual date with her and have a lawsuit waiting on our doorstep when we got back. (Her father’s a high-powered lawyer, by the way. All the more reason not to mess around).

And while the above picture leads to dirty thought after dirty thought, other photos of her reveal she’s not as hot as that one picture suggests.

Don’t get us wrong: she’s hot. But walk around a high school college campus for five minutes and you’ll come across plenty of broads with better faces and better-than-or-equal-to bodies.

The answer: C’mon. That one picture — albeit the best of her we’ve seen — gives us like a double hard-on. And she can play sports. Because that’s important too. So we’ll say yes, but we’ll need some drank. Call it three Long Islands for us (to help us get over the fact she’s still taking classes like Algebra and Biology) and something stronger for her(Everclear?) to have her get past the whole “unwanted attention” bullshit.

All right, folks. The polls are open (nice new edition, huh?). But don’t shy away from the comments. When was the last time you turned out an 18-year-old? When was the last time you got sued? Decisions, decisions.

Would you do…Allison Stokke
Yes
No
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123 Responses

  1. I agree with Carmen Electra….#1 she is experienced which leads to #2 – she is probably a FREAK!!!!….

    No comment about the pole vaulter

  2. I would if I knew how to pronounce that fucking name.

  3. You’ve got some big ones, Zach. I’ll give you that. I bet the comments for this one will be sparse as no one wants to get arrested!

  4. Brilliant.

    Half my age plus seven equals … Damn.

  5. OK, here’s on potential problem about taking a high school girl out for drinks to lower her inhibitions…high school girls are stupid and drink way too much, way too fast and an hour later are laying on a bathroom floor vomiting and crying. On that note, YES!!!

  6. Sign me up. Lick my nuts, Allan Stokke!

  7. Electra over Biel??? Blasphemy. Did you see Biel’s pictures as she’s taking out the trash in the morning on What Would Tyler Durden Do? She’s unbelievable even without makeup.

  8. she’s 18? Then…

    the short answer: absolutely.

    the long answer: abso-fuckin-lutely.

    drinks? neh.

  9. I think my standards are stupidly high, but I would have to agree she is definitely less hot in those other photos.

    Still voted yes though for that one photo 😉

  10. Have you seen the YouTube video of her? she really isn’t that hot. I’m going to say no.

    Oh, and Zach, you’re really taking Electra over Biel??

  11. Piling on a little bit, aren’t we, Zach? Posting this after the WaPo article is pretty cold. Your site, your game, but just putting it out there.

    I had a candidate athlete for this contest who I find very attractive. However, she’s still a teenager, and is in a small town where it’d be difficult to hide if she would become popular. I finally decided to keep her for myself, err, she didn’t deserve the extra hassle and attention, so didn’t suggest her. After the whole Alison saga, looks like that was the right call.

  12. yes. easily

  13. I would definitely do her, then go on Fox News and Blog Show and tell the world about it. Matt Ufford is my hero. And if she sued me for slander, I’d hire her dad to defend me. This plan is air-tight.

    Oh and to answer the question, Electra, hands down. Then Stokke, then Biel. Biel is hot, but she’s gotten too manly. She needs to tone down on the working out.

  14. I’m only 20… so hopefully that makes it less creepy if I vote yes.

  15. Yes. Biel over anyone except Kate Beckinsale.

    Did I say yes cause I meant yes.

  16. Allison Stokke knew what she was doing, and she’s whining because it’s “creepy”.

    http://www.michaelcrook.org/2007/06/02/she-didnt-think-it-would-happen/

  17. Hi, fellas! Please head over to your local district office for your complimentary castration. Bring an ice pack!

    This girl is in high school. I suppose grown women aren’t interested in any of you? No, of course not. Why would they be? You’re all awfully creepy.

  18. Do you know how I know you are gay? Because you said you would need a drink for Allison

  19. F%ck her??

    Sh*t, I would let her stick that pole vault up my as#.

  20. I would blow her dad just to get to her.

  21. lithe, flexible, gymnastic–the mind boggles… can vault my pole any time!

  22. haha, you would need a Long Island Iced tea for her but would do Electra? You may have some problems.

  23. I’m done with this chick.

  24. I would crush stokke now that she’s legal. Look

  25. here is the vid interview

  26. A thousand times no, after reading the article – it says she feels violated, like her body was stolen and turned into a public commodity. Poor girl.

    “Even if none of it is illegal, it just all feels really demeaning…I worked so hard for pole vaulting and all this other stuff, and it’s almost like that doesn’t matter. Nobody sees that. Nobody really sees me.”

  27. omg you have to ask???? and by the way, the pole vaulter will top the rod-taker every time in my books.

  28. Who the fuck let her dad vote 36 times?

  29. After viewing her video, she kind of looks like Greta Van Susteren when she talks…but thats not necessarily a bad thing.

  30. What are you talking about? Her dad voted “Yes.”

    BTW, she’s in college now boys, it’s open season.

  31. First off, Carmen Electra is fucking through. Her name doesn’t even belong on the same webpage as Jessica Biel’s.
    Second, I would nail Allison Stokke in a meth-addict’s heartbeat! Man, that would be sweet. She’s legal, so it’s all good. Her high priced lawyer daddy couldn’t do a damn thing about it, but I wouldn’t exactly rub in his face. Oh, how I love hypotheticals…

  32. Just call me TEACHER

  33. Would I ‘do’ her? . . . uhhhhh, no.
    I’m only a few years younger than her father. Would I ‘do’ her mother? Hmmmmm . . . a much more interesting question 🙂 (A mute point though, really: Neither would look twice at me).

  34. You guys are complete creeps.

    And your chances with a woman that beautiful are equal to your chances of surviving being tossed into the core of the sun.

    Just sayin’

  35. Thanks for article!

  36. Thanks for interesting article.

  37. You can eat a banana once it turns yellow, but they taste best when a few brown spots dot the peel.

    Besides, top-level jock chics are weird. They have nerd-level social development. If you don’t have the game to break her down, the 3 Long Islands won’t help…they will, however, help her with any performance anxiety issues, so that pole vaulting will correlate to pole smoking.

  38. Glad to read articles like this. Thanks to author!

  39. I will fuck her all night

  40. Excellent website. Good work. Very useful. I will bookmark!

  41. If your ganna take Carmen Electra (big-headed midget,fake tited,no talent,attention whore) over Biel or Stokke (talented hard-bodies) then you deserve to have a brick thrown at your face. Allison is gorgeous and looks perfectly fine in the other pictures. And if your old enough to look at her and feel creapy, then jump off a spring board into an emty inground pool feet first(how them compound fractures feel?). Dont be a weirdo and leer at young girls!!!

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