Would you do…Serena Williams?

Why we might:

The easy answer: That ass has its own area code.

The more in-depth answer: While this is a Would you do… on Serena, we can’t ignore the fact that she has a tennis-playing sister.

Immediate thought: ménage à trois. It’d be a handful to roll in the sheets just with Serena, so both of them?! Holy shit. We’d need bigger hands. With like seven fingers.

Also, her website says her most memorable experience is, “Receiving an ‘A’ in Geometry.”

Really? That seems easy enough to top. We could give her something far more memorable in, oh, about a minute and a half.

Why we might not:
The easy answer: Did we mention that ass?

The more in-depth answer: You just know Serena’s a high-maintenance girl. She’s dated big shots like the Indian’s C.C. Sabathia and ESPN Dream Job’s — and footballer — LaVar Arrington.

Getting her in your bed won’t be easy. Bedding her will likely take you showing her your roll of cash, pro sport skills or elephant dick. And it seems, frankly, like a high amount of effort for a modest reward.

The answer: Eh, do we have to? For the record, we’ll say seven Long Islands for us — hold the Triple Sec, double the tequila — and step-by-step directions to navigate that rump of hers. For her, well, as long as she brings a tennis racket, we’re cool. A Weeds episode implied that something of that nature can be a nice Friday treat.

All right, folks. The polls are open (nice new edition, huh?). But don’t shy away from the comments. A lot of dudes fantasize about banging on the 50-yard line. Fuck it. How ’bout center court on the grass at Wimbledon? Bet Serena can pull some strings…

Would you do…Serena Williams?
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25 Responses

  1. This is a tough one, I wont lie. In the end I think it doesnt matter whether I would or not because if she wanted to do me she could. She would rape me and there would be nothing I could do about it. Damn that woman is strong.

  2. Yes to Serena, but a “hell 2 da naw” to the idea of a threesome with Venus.

  3. This is tough one for me…it has NOTHING to do with her being black…I have no problem with a little chocolate…I like phat asses too…but . . .

    Uhhh….hmmmm….she is not attractive at all…but I guess I would if I had 14 LIs…maybe?

  4. I’d imagine her riding you until your pelvis broke or your cock broke. So…

  5. Does it say anything about my recent social draught that I have voted “yes” to the last month and a half’s polls? Soon I might find myself voting yes to 6’4 WNBA “stars”.

  6. I’ve lost friends over defending my willingness and desire to hit that ass. Damn right, even if her ass does have more dimples than a Pro V-1.

    MMMM, Wimbledon Catsuit…

  7. Finally, a tough one!

    2001ish Serena Williams? hellz yeah!

    2007 Serena Wlliams? eh, probably not.

  8. I don’t think my wang would touch the sides.

  9. i’ll pass.

    and jordi, do you mean social drought? as is, drought like a lack of water? ’cause you wrote “draught” which is life “draft” as in a draught beer. just checking

  10. She’s a man, baby!

  11. JMC,
    Well, see I was thinking drought, but I was also thinking about beer at the same time and how I haven’t had one in a while, so I subconsciously combined the two. Hopefully tonight I have a few draughts and end the drought.

  12. Man, I guess this one separates the men from the boys.

    A buddy of mine and I have almost the same reaction to her: Adrenaline.

    It’s like Gladiator – the first time that he fights in the arena – when they are standing there waiting for the door to open.

    Either you are secure or insecure – it’s redundant and inhumane to kick people who are perennially down. So I’ll leave them alone.

    But, man, I am tellin’ you – she is on the other side of that door – the sun is slipping through here and there – and my ass is wired and fired, homes.

    The sunlight goes red for an instand as I briefly close my. I can hear myself breathing. The sand scrunching under my feet.

    I don’t care what she’s got – I don’t care what anybody’s got – just bust that door open and I will hit that into next week.

    Serena – even her name sounds like Ancient Rome.

    BAM !

    Now say it like you mean it !

  13. I got so stoked, I even made some typos.

    That’s wild.

  14. I can definitely see her being like the black chick from beer fest

    “Im gonna break yo dick off!”

  15. WCT speaks the truth.

  16. all day…

    that’s a wonderful, wonderful, analogy/assessment.

  17. Big Picture,

    Thanks for the kind words.

    I just looked at the results of the poll.

    One third of the fellas are at least not scared of the door opening.

    Two thirds are represented by the guy right in front of Maximus who makes the little puddle of terror.

    I used to have a futile interest in Ekatarina Gordeeva. She is fine and dandy now, but in her primo days, her bod would make you slap yo’ mama.

    Ms. Williams and Ms. Gordeeva represent a more profound truth: form always follows function. The most strikingly attractive women’s bodies are ones that are in motion. And watching them shows that they were meant to be in motion. In action, being tested, not just cruising along.

    All of the money spent on ‘body contouring’ is trying to do what ? It is trying to mimic the finely tuned female form in poetic motion.

    But the real deal comes shining through – in a ‘Blink’ manner, somehow. It is a gestalt that can only really be described by giving examples.

  18. Why wouldn’t you want to RIDE that Ass. Just call me Tex

  19. It is unfair that we can’t put in more then one “no” at a time. I had a friend who brought some non-nude but close pix to work one day. I had to leave, I could not stay in the same city as those pix – absolutely disgusting. I’d take alcohol poisoning over doing this one! venus looks like a 2 legged girafe serena looks like a 2 legged – ewe!

  20. In a heartbeat. She is the hottest woman on this planet. Hot and sweaty after a long match.

  21. hell yes i,d do serena, without even thinking about it, she has the hottest ass i,ve ever seen and the rest of her is just sizzling……..
    also she,s not too bad at tennis lol.

  22. hell, yes! i would worship her, as the goddess of niggerness! what a body!

  23. just look at that ass!! And she has a nice set of rack to match the ass,Advantage:Mine.Serve it to me,Serena.

  24. i would pound her ass until my cock aches.man her ass is worth humping than her pussy

  25. God no. She is the first one I have voted no for so far. She is an ape.

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