Would you do…Mia Hamm?

Why we might:

The easy answer: Strong thighs.

The more in-depth answer: We wanna get back at Nomar. You surely know about the celebrity couple, and while Garciaparra ain’t what he used to be, he’s still playing baseball, believe it or not.

Nomar’s now with the Dodgers and, well, we hate the Dodgers more than rug burns and mosquito bites. Combined. So to spite him, we’ll happily break up his marriage. And home wrecking is something we’re really looking to venture in to.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: Strong thighs.

The more in-depth answer: Ya know how when Nomar comes to bat, he adjusts his batting gloves for like 30 seconds? Wonder if the same transfers to the bedroom. Thing is, Hamm’s now surely gotten used to it. So when you strap up (don’t even dare hit that raw), you’ll probably have to play with your rubber for a few minutes. Adjust, adjust, adjust.

The answer: Think we might need something strong. And maybe mixed with drugs. Hamm’s cute, but not hot. And “cute” could really be a euphemism for “penis shrinking.” Let’s call it a Long Island, two pitchers of Jack (no rocks) and maybe some E.

All right, folks. The polls are open (nice new edition, huh?). But don’t shy away from the comments. You have the chance to steal away a sucessful athlete from another successful, yet over-the-hill athlete. And she’s got a soccer body. Whatever that means. Make it happen in the comments…

Would you do…Mia Hamm?
Yes
No
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18 Responses

  1. I agree, Mia is not hot but she is not a dog either…

    There is no doubt that she would whip my ass in bed…unlike Serena Williams, Mia is solid as fuck…she is in shape…

    In the end – hell ya I would do her – 4 LIs…

  2. At first I thought I would… but then I remembered how immediately after that Nomar went straight pussy (circa ’03). Therefore, I am afraid that shiz is like Kryptonite…

  3. No, I’d do Nomar though…what?

  4. I don’t think so, for God’s sake she knows what Nomar’s dick tastes like…and that ruins everything.

  5. 18 no’s? You guys are homos.

  6. yes yes and yes. I think she’s hot, always have. plus she wears 9 which is my number. I’m bout it bout it. 2 LI’s and a chance to stick it to Nomar is all I need.

  7. I would do her before Serena but that still isn’t enough for a yes

  8. 10 years ago? Sure. Now? Not so much.

  9. Mini Me…LFMAO!!!!!

  10. two soccer posts in a row! i have to give that some love…

  11. She might be too loose because if Nomar’s nose is that big, imagine, you know…

  12. She’s ugly as shit. I ain’t a homo for pressing no, I just have a pair of eyes that actually work. Most soccer chicks are ugly and she’s no exception.

  13. fuck no…shes nasty. i was watching espnnews yesterday and hope solo (us gk) was on. shes cute. get some other us womens soccer players on here…there are some babes. not mia hamm.

  14. you shouldnt talk bad about the dodgers.

  15. I’ll say yes, despite the fact that this is a woman who made her living kicking balls.

  16. Id crush it for the story but if she was not famous, I would need to polish off at least a sixer. GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL

  17. I bet Mia’s penis is bigger than Nomar’s. Also she bailed on her first husband–an active duty Marine…so she can esad.

  18. Probably not, but Hope Solo needs her own section here so I could answer YES.

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