Would you do…Ice?

Why we might:

The easy answer: Her muscles aren’t the only things that are big.

The more in-depth answer: In shape = boner popping. The former American Gladiator was a professional body builder (now a real estate agent. Schwing!) and played sports throughout high school. If that’s not a recipe for being fit…

Now imagine how she could toss you around in the sack. She’d treat you like a contender on the Joust and smack you around good. So if rough sex is your thing, you’re in for a treat. If rough sex ain’t your thing, then make it your thing, bitch.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: She could totally kick our ass.

The more in-depth answer: We somehow feel cheated that Ice isn’t her real name. Yeah. We know. Wrecking ball to the groin.

Ice’s birth name is Lori Ice Fetrick and her whole life is based on lies. Not really. She’s now working in real estate and we presume she’s doing just fine for herself. That’s probably a good thing too. Don’t know how she’d be able to sleep at night otherwise.

The answer: A slight tangent if you will…

Here’s her website that also includes a phone number. We could all call her (strength in numbers, people!) and get her out for an appearance.

If you would like to Hire Lori “Ice” Fetrick for any Personal Appearance please contact her directly at: lori@lorifetrick.com.

Personal Appearances include:
Meet & Greet Guests
Pose for photographs
Sign Autographs
Participate in Golf Tournament (if applicable)

It doesn’t say it, but “Personal Appearances” also include “sleeping with Big Picture readers.” So we all have a chance, making us really excited about our future endeavors.

So let’s call it two Long Islands and the cost to hire her for an appearance. Once we meet, our charm will replace alcohol. The E will help too.

All right, folks. The polls are open (nice new edition, huh?). But don’t shy away from the comments. Wanna know what it’s like to get Assaulted by an American Gladiator? Maybe you could play Adult Powerball. Or a one-way Joust. (Think about it). Let the games begin…

Would you do…Ice?
Yes
No
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13 Responses

  1. Compared to the rest of the female Gladiators, she’s hot. My biggest concern is the possibility of a two-way joust.

    Regardless, make it 2-4 LI’s and I’d take me beating like a man.

  2. BD hit it on the head….but I will go 3 LI’s and will take my beating like a man too!

  3. AHHHH! Kill it! KILL IT!

  4. As long as she doesn’t shoot that tennis ball gun at me, I’m in. I’d let her choke me out.

  5. How about the fact that she’s probably pushing 50 these days?

    I’ll pass.

  6. she’s a little too muscular for me. Don’t think I want a girl whose arms are bigger than my thighs.

  7. what about the ‘roids?

  8. The hemorrhoids?

  9. Yeah I’m not going to lie I’d probably take the sex like a little bi*** with her tossing me all over the place, but I’d still take it.

  10. scankomania rules!

  11. NBC’s classic competition show of the early 90s is back. “American Gladiators” which pits the strength and agility of both male and female contestants against each other, will be taping at the Sony Studios (Culver City, CA) from Nov 28th-Dec. 12, 2007. The host is Hulk Hogan.

    For groups of 10 or more (from a registered organization), who attend a taping, NBC will write a donation check. The more people, the higher the payment. For details, please call: 1-866-515-4950

    Online reservations for individuals can be found here:

    http://americangladiatorstickets.com/form.html

  12. I would. She’s sexy and strong. She can overpower me any time.

  13. unfortunately, she came out of the closet on access hollywood 2 weeks ago. apparently she’s been a lesbian since she was 18. i was f’n floored

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