Robert Swift is having identity issues

Once upon a time, the Sonics’ Robert Swift was a young man with a dream. He dreamed of forgoing college, missing endless sorority pussy and warming the end of an NBA team’s bench.

Swift was tall, sure, but he was not big. He didn’t think big, play big, act big. He was a boy among men, cub among bears, A cup among DDs.

But Swift now is a changed man. From The Seattle Times:

A series of intertwining black tattoos cover large swaths of his body. He’s forgotten how many tattoos he has, but knows he’s spent 108 hours under the needle. Swift is wearing his shoulder-length red hair in a ponytail and has significantly bulked up in his upper body, adding about 40 pounds to his 7-1 frame during a nine-month rehabilitation, bringing him up to 280 pounds.

“I’m certainly more comfortable with my body now than I ever was before,” he said. “It’s an adjustment for me and for everybody else. I get a lot stares and comments, but I like it.”

Robert Swift might never touch a woman again, but he has found himself. And his identity.


10 Responses

  1. Robert Swift is bringing the white back to basketball. Chris Andersen was unsuccessful.

  2. No fucking way…..are those pics real? I thought gingers weren’t allowed to get ink?

  3. gmoney, that is doubtful.

  4. what a fucking poser

  5. “Might never touch a woman again” ?

    If he ever touched a woman before that will finally prove that money and fame are all women care about. Well, maybe not fame. But money for sure, and hanging out with Rashard Lewis perhaps.

  6. Even before all the injuries, I don’t think Robert Swift was ever destined for anything other than a journeyman NBA career. I saw the guy play when he was in high school and was thoroughly unimpressed. He has the height, a decent build, but that’s about it. There’s no speed, quickness, jumping ability, finesse, power, etc. But what he lacks in playing ability, he makes up for in tattoos.

  7. Yeah, you try being an ugly, redheaded white guy in the NBA and see if you don’t develop some “quirks.” I’m just glad he’s not killing anyone…yet.

  8. Wow… he’s even uglier than Adam Morrison.

  9. he looks like a pizza delivery guy on the juice…no offense to pizza delivery guys.

  10. He fills the void left when Cherokee Parks couldn’t get a job in the league anymore…

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