Fuck Boston

Fuck the Red Sox.

Enough of their shit. Really. At this point, the Sox are just as bad as the Yankees. Their payroll is second in the Majors and is nearly $100 mil more than that of the Rockies. So — and stick with us here — wouldn’t a Colorado victory in the World Series be 100 million times more valuable than a Sox win?

Fuck the Patriots.

Go after Brady’s fucking knees already. And can’t Belichick show some class? Running it up against the hapless Dolphins? Pfft. He’d be the type of high school coach who drops 80 points on that pathetic team which starts all underclassmen and then call his own kids pussies after the game for having to punt twice.

Fuck Boston College.

Beating Georgia Tech is not beating someone. If the Eagles somehow sneak in to the BCS title game, we’re gonna have to hire Frank Costello to whack Matt Ryan before kickoff.

Fuck tea.

Fuck the Bean Pot.

Fuck Bill Simmons.

Fuck phony accents.

Fuck Thomas M. Menino. (Don’t know who he is? Look it up.)

Fuck the Celtics.


Fuck Fever Pitch.

And, somehow, we think Johnny Damon must be to blame for all of this.

And please, feel free to leave your own hate in the comments. Get it all out, people. It’s therapeutic. Really.


14 Responses

  1. This was hilarious. It was even funnier when I read it the first 20 times on every other KSK rip off.

  2. Good post.
    I love Bill Simmons but he makes me hate New England and the Sox

  3. Fucking Red Sox.

    I’m a lifetime O’s fan. And every home series Baltimore gets overrun with fucking New Englanders talking about how good Pap-Test is, and how much they want Tom Brady’s penis and how many video cameras they use.


  4. Boston smells like a bag of shit on fire.
    The big dig was a great idea, good job.
    I hate anything from boston. People what the fuck is going on, why are boston sports doing well, how can we allow this to happen. This has extreme ramifications for everyone. You will not be able to go anywhere without hearing a fuckin shitty ass, pompous, whorish, diseased accent talkin shit about SUOX. Well Fuck you, your population contributes nothing to society except for drunken fratboys, that think they’re smart cuz their parents started a trust fund for them.
    Belichick’s a thieven ass cheatin bitch, and someone needs to take a heaping shit on his chest.
    The red sox… apparently it became red when jason varitek, had a heavy flow that couldn’t even be controlled with a levy, hence dripping blood onto sox. As far as I’m concerned we can achieve middle east peace, by ridding the world of boston, wipe it off the map and discard nuclear and medical waste there. FUCK YOU MASSHOLES

  5. Hey matt’s back with his bag full of double-fisted dildos. Boston is a shithole.

    The Redskins will beat the Pats next week in Shitsboro.

  6. hey big picture…FUCK YOU!


    you’ll love this site

  7. Word, Cotton, word.

  8. how about if Randall Gay doesn’t try and be a cocky prick and return an interception deep in his own end zone against the dolphins yesterday? He had almost zero shot of returning it for a touchdown and ended up losing yards and the patriots wound up on their own 7.

    Oh, and Ronnie Brown gets hurt on the play and is gone for the year. If Gay hadn’t been so cocky, Brown would be playing this year and millions of fantasy seasons wouldn’t be destroyed.

  9. Matt,

    Anon is entitled to his opinion.

    You no longer are. You’re done commenting here, cowboy. Thanks for playing.

  10. matt,

    the point you made today was totally legit…but then you put some nasty remark at the end. Overkill, my man. overkill.

    From now on, if you want to comment here, email me privately. maybe we can work something out. I’m sure you’re a knowledgeable sports fan and all, but the other commenters and I don’t need to put up with your shit on a daily basis.

    but, really, thanks for the extra hit of traffic each day. every reader counts.

  11. Don’t forget “Fuck the Celtics”, even though they won’t win anything with Doc Rivers as their head coach.

    And “Fuck the Bruins”, who… are there any Bruins fans that I can piss off by saying that, or should I wait until they have a playoff spot and the Bruins’ jerseys are de-mothballed?

  12. u said it best! FUCK THE SOX and fuck Boston! The Sox are ugly and the Pats are fraud-ass cheaters. Fitting asshole teams for the ultimate asshole city. GREAT SITE! 🙂

  13. “Fever Pitch” is a good story: only in its original (Nick Hornby) english football fan version. Bostonians also ruined that for everybody.

  14. Boston sucks, the GIANTS smacked those chowder heads.

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