Patriots cross the line; and other cheap thoughts without much thought


Bill Belichick and the Patriots pushed us further than we’ve been pushed in a while. We can’t remember the last time a game with no direct ties to our rooting interests bothered us so much. Sure, there were some fantasy football implications (which, lately, has been the cause of instant anger), but this time it was beyond that.

The Pats, late in a rout, were showing no signs of sportsmanship, no signs of remorse, no signs of fucking humanity. They were disrespecting a good team with a better coach. They saw the line, laughed, and crossed it by a fucking mile.

The Pats shouldn’t have had Brady in at the start of the fourth quarter. Up 38-0, they certainly shouldn’t have had him passing. Then, on fourth and one, you kick the fucking field goal. And once you convert said fourth down they shouldn’t have been attempting in the first place, do not keep passing. Fucking ridiculous.

New England then went for it again on fourth down, up 45-0. Forty five to fucking nothing! Call the Mercy Rule or something. And even with Brady out, the Pats were still throwing the ball. We don’t give a fuck if they wanted to give the backup work. Run the ball up the middle for three plays and then punt the ball. Anything else is bullshit. Motherfucking, ass-raping bullshit.

In college, where running up the score actually matters for something, you won’t see coaches passing up by 40 points. Those collegiate coaches certainly wouldn’t go for it on fourth down.

We kept watching, glued to the TV expecting something big to happen. New England’s antics were the type that would result in the ‘Skins starting a brawl. Seriously. We were waiting for a cheap shot, late hit, helmet-to-helmet. Something. We were curious if Gibbs would still have enough class to shake Belichick’s hand after the game. (He did, quickly).

You know — you just fucking know — that those cock-sucking Boston fans were rooting for the Pats to run it up too. They wanted 100. There probably wasn’t one person in the state of Massachusetts who was thinking that Belichick was taking this one too far.

The statement was made by halftime. When the game was really out of hand late in the third, put in the backups, call dives, off-tackles and fucking QB kneels.

We’re very disappointed, and that’s not a common emotion of ours. Usually it’s as simple as happy, angry or horny. But this went too far. The Patriots used to be a classy organization. Now they’re callous assholes who couldn’t tell sportsmanship from arrogance.

Fuck you Mr. Belichick. You should be ashamed. May you get hit by a car. Scratch that. Bus. A big fucking bus.

(Here’s an article by our former colleague Les Carpenter, now with the Washington Post [Registration required, but do it. It takes 30 seconds and it’s worth it]. It hints at what we feel, though most of the players and Gibbs gave the quotes you’d expect, and blamed themselves more than anything).

Meanwhile...

-The lady pictured is British hottie Keely Hazell. After watching the National Football League from London, it’s clear that there is only one attractive person in all of England.

-Tony Siragusa’s meat of the day: salami.

-Be honest. You thought Cleo Lemon was white.

-Two teams heading in the right direction: Saints and Chargers. Looks like natural disasters can have their positive effects, after all.

-Did David Carr start hanging out in San Francisco’s Castro District? That long hair and glove has Lance Bass wet.

-Shannon Sharpe said 11 words clearly during halftime off the Colts-Panthers game. Last week: nine.

-That fucking obnoxious FOX robot? Really Terry Bradshaw.

-Oh, the 49ers have seemingly forgot how to play football. Young Alex Smith and David Carr would be a cute couple.

-With the Pats up by 600, we’re still at Gillette Stadium. And while Jacksonville-Tampa is the only legit game going and it’s on CBS, you’d think that FOX would at least mention that there is competitive football being played Sunday.

-Vinny Testaverde joke of the day (no, not his stats or us foolishly starting him in one fantasy league): Testaverde hurt, Panthers turn to “Western” medicine.

-At a dinner party next week, when Bob Griese is asked how his son is, he’ll reply, “what son?”

-Willie Parker, after multiple 100-yard-no-TD games, has decided that scoring is cool too and got in the endzone. Elsewhere, man walks on moon.

-Were the Brits booing the Giants taking a knee or Eli Manning throwing for 58 yards?

-Seen the movie Smoking Aces? The day a hit is put out for Brady or Belichick the same way it is for Buddy Israel, rain drops will turn to fucking jelly beans.

-We didn’t see pictures from the Minnesota-Philly game, but word has it that Kelly Holcomb was playing, so we’ll just assume an Eagles win and 78 carries for Adrian Peterson.

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20 Responses

  1. Hey, admittedly it was a busy day for us “cock-sucking Boston fans.” we won the World Series too. Have a nice day.

  2. Hey, fifteenkey…are you on the roster or coaching staff of the Red Sox (or even an employee in the organization)? If not, then, I hate to break it to you, but you didn’t win the World Series.

  3. OK, the Patriots did not do anything wrong yesterday. Here’s an idea, STOP THEM!!! Why should they back off? They kept running their normal offense, and it’s Washington’s job to keep them from scoring. The Pats are going to destroy the Colts next week and prove they are the better team, and that Brady is 100 times better than Manning. Oh, they did do one thing wrong by taking out their starters on D, that should have been a shutout. GO PATS!

  4. God I hope the Colts wipe the RCA Dome turf with Brady’s fucking smirk and the rest of the Patsies. Nothing quite like cementing your image as an asshole Belichick. And man, the next few weeks/months will blow with obnoxious Pats and Squawks fans here. Oh well, at least it’s hockey season for me =P

  5. Brady > Manning

    Belichick > Dungy

    Pats > Colts

  6. I’m a Redskins fan. It actually didn’t bother me that they were still in since I knew that they weren’t going to let up anyway. My only problem, like you said, is take the 15 yard personal foul penalty and fine, and knock someone’s fucking head off.

    Would it not have been great to see Sean Taylor decapitate Brady 5 seconds after the whistle blew in a 38-0 game??? How would Bill Adulterer explain that one?

    Go Colts. Boston needs to be put in their place. Those fans suck too many balls to deserve this much success.

  7. This is one of those rare occasions when I wish the NFL were more like the NHL. If Belichick is such a student of the game (as he is constantly described), then he should know better. Gibbs should have made like Bobby Clarke and sent in a young defensive lineman who could afford to get suspended, and sent him after Brady’s knees. I can almost hear the satisfying pop of ligaments even as I write.

  8. Peter,
    The only problem with that statement is that the game had a Washington team, not a Philadelphia team. Sorry Flyers fan(s).

  9. Not only were the Pats still throwing up 38-0 with 10 mins left, they threw a go route to Moss! I do not understand the logic at all and this type of behavior is going to backfire by them getting someone hurt.

  10. We were booing Manning taking a knee, and not because we don’t know the tactical reasons, but because he was awful all afternoon and we wanted some excitement. The best chant-insult combo of the day was heard after Manning threw a nothing pass to nobody: Chad Penningotn!

  11. Can’t believe you wrote so much there – I couldn’t concentrate with that pic at the top. And I think I see some areola…

  12. yeah, i surprise myself too sometimes, fletch.

    not all just one-liners and dick jokes here.

  13. Are you trying to have a go at me?

  14. as bill simmons says, the patriots are on a mission this season after week one.

    the mission: make sure the entire league can fully interpret a collective “fuck you” to the entire league for vilifying them. it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that they were wrong in cheating this year…it also doesnt take one to know that every other team cheats in some way shape or form in the nfl as well.

    ps, just because the bay area sports are the most miserable in the country doesnt mean you have to be all bitter towards titletown, usa, er, boston.

  15. fair enough, t.c.

    some buddies from the bay and I have been emailing how we want to hang ourselves for rooting for the 49ers, Cal, A’s, Giants, Raiders, etc. and how the one successful team is the fucking Sharks. oh, and our former MLS team — the Earthquakes — won a title. that was special.

  16. I’m predicting the Colts will beat the Patriots, but if they don’t, it’s hard to imagine anyone else doing it. They are truly in another league right now.

    Having said that, I completely agree that it was a classless display put on yesterday. And while no one may beat the Patriots on the scoreboard this year, you can bet that if this type of behavior continues, opponents will start coming in low and hard for Brady.

  17. It’s one thing to be a die hard fan and support your team through thick and thin. But if your team behaves in an undesirable way, do you still support them? Or can you be objective and feel that they crossed the line? Most fans could probably do the latter. But I bet Pats fans would be supportive even if Belichick offed his own mother.

  18. to be honest, im a semi bandwagon pats fan. i grew up in boston and am a diehard sox fan but the pats are second hand for me completely. i never really loved football all that much. the reason i resent the bay area is because your two shitty teams are blacking out good football every sunday and especially this weekend the pats-colts game. and btw, the quakes are gonna play at a re-vamped buck shaw stadium on the campus of santa clara next year, my current school.

  19. Everyone complains when a team quits when they are behind, so why should a team quit when they are ahead?

    Anybody who has a problem with New England doing what they do in the En Eff Ell needs a pair of goddamn balls because it is obvious that they were removed long, long ago. College ball you might have a point, high school maybe, peewee definitely, but not in pro sports.

    P.S. Europeans say, please, grow a fucking pair before watching a game. You don’t here them bitching about their football teams pumping in unneeded goals at the end of a game. God, if there is ever a war on our soil, they’ll have to save us what with the pansy-assed generation that lives and breathes here now. Lost Vietnam. Failed in rescuing our Iranian Embassy workers. Too afraid to take Saddam out in ’92. And today we cannot even secure Iraq and get all bothered with a freaking pro game. Tom Brokaw hangs his head in shame.

  20. I did know that Cleo Lemon was black. I was however surprised that Quinn Gray wasn’t white.

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