Big Picture Categories: Athletes with legal problems

King’s Cup might be the best drinking game out there. Everyone has their own version, there’s ample drinking and sometimes — on a few lucky occasions — hot chicks end up naked. One of the best “games” in King’s Cup is Categories, which often is represented by the Jack card. In Categories, the person who draws the card says a category (fast food joints, baseball stadiums, etc.) and everyone must go around the circle naming one until somebody stumbles. When that person fucks up, they drink. Make sense? Good.

Pretty much the third thing that came to mind when watching the Pats-Ravens game Monday was, “seems like half of the Ravens’ D has had a run-in with the law.” (The first two things that came to mind were “this is a surprisingly good game,” and “those all-black unis are fucking raw!”

Today’s category then will be naming all those notorious athletes who have had legal problems. Going to jail or court isn’t even a prerequisite. Any run-in with the law counts. We’ll start and you guys continue in the comments. You can go again after every five comments. First person to blow it has to come across Ray Lewis in a dark alley.

We’ll start with one of those that never saw jail time: Ray Lewis (obstruction of justice after avoiding murder charges).

All right, folks. Help make the all-criminal team in the comments.


37 Responses

  1. My current least favorite athlete.

    Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo

    was in a car that was pulled over and the cops found weed…surprisingly the guys he was with owned up to it and he didnt get in trouble…oh and also..he was expelled from North College Hill HS in Cincy…that kinda counts

  2. Chris Webber – was pulled over in DC for some driving incident and they found weed in his car

  3. Mike Vick – I think we all know…

  4. uhhh… the Ohio $tate Univer$ity football team and coaching $taff

    Enough said.

  5. Orenthal James Simpson. He got away with murder. Literally.

    And then stole some shit in Vegas.


  7. Jamal Lewis and the U-Haul attached to his back.

  8. Ricky Williams – Arson (lit all those trees on fire)

  9. first of all I’d like to respond to the ignorant douchebag who named Ohio State when he probably can’t name anyone from tOSU that has had legal issues other than Clarett (whom the university immediately suspended and kicked out when he broke the law). Also, if you dig up some crap like Louis Irizarry, Ira Guilford, or Steve Bellisari, just look at any other college football team and you’ll find countless minor legal issues. Texas has had like 11 players since last year have legal trouble, Roy Williams missed a game at OU for attacking some guy, and Marlin Jackson was suspended a game at Michigan for a bar fight. Don’t even get me started on the Florida schools…

    Here’s my choice:

    Rae Carruth…murder

  10. najeh davenport – domestic violence.

    and pooping in a closet! holla!

  11. the Warriors biggest thug – Stephen Jackson.

    “Mainstream media outlets generally portray Jackson in a negative way, highlighting the fact that, in only the past three years, he has been charged with felony criminal recklessness and a number of other misdemeanors, including assault, disorderly conduct, and two counts of battery.[12]” Thanks Wikipedia.

  12. what about dexter manley

  13. Elijah Dukes – OF – Devil Rays

  14. Randy Moss… running over a cop

  15. elijah is a national now their chief

  16. That bitch JJ Redick.

    Just a DUI… But I’m sure he wrote a poem about, and I’m suprised he didn’t go on national TV to cry and complain about how mean the cop was to him.

  17. Yo’ momma. What? She’s not an athlete, you say? She can play some mean balls. My balls.

  18. Jeff Alm – Houston Oilers 1993

    Here is the “story”.

    However; the word on the street is that his buddy had been giving him oral, and bit it off during the wreck. Thus Alm, took his own life rather than face the public humiliation.

  19. 1. This isn’t enarly as much fun as the porn stars list.

    2. anonymous Buckeye fan douchebag, how about QB Antonio Henton (soliciting a cop), Lydell Ross (counterfeit strip club money), Brandon Joe (passed out behind the wheel), Rob Reynolds (threw phone at his wife) , Santonio Holmes, Mike Doss, and Jason Simmons (fucks little girls)…GO BUCKS, right???

  20. yeah, i know. pornstars are fun…

    i’ll go with tony larussa. (DUI)

  21. Mark Chimura

  22. How about that OSU fan diddling himself at the library.
    –Carl Monday

  23. Ahh! Sorry, didn’t think I submitted the first one.

  24. Mark Chimura

  25. pacman

  26. Ugueth Urbina — a reminder to not attack your migrant workers with machetes

  27. to respond to gmoney, what are you talking about with Holmes and Doss?

    Also, other than Henton (that was just a stupid move on his part), what did you even bring up that isn’t a common issue that every major school as just as much of or more? I mean OSU had some issues at the end of the Cooper era, but under Tressel everything has been clean. Also, to have approximately 6-8 issues in the past 5 or 6 years is nothing. Show me a big program that has had a great track record…

  28. Mike Doss was arrested for shooting a gun in a public place in Akron

    Santonio Holmes was arrested down in Florida for assault

  29. jeff reardon, former mlb pitcher stole some stuff, right?

  30. uh, bonds?

  31. Scott Olsen. Florida Marlins. DUI, resisting arrest, being a terrible pitcher.

  32. Denny McLain, former Detroit Tigers pitcher: tax evasion

  33. the Duke University Lacrosse team.


  34. pete rose

  35. the duke lacrosse team did nothing…just some nig bitch who hated whites and wanted money, so in typical fashion she concocted a bullshit story

  36. The 1986 Mets – Doc and Straw

  37. The 1919 Chicago White Sox.

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