Heisman Talk

Instead of watching competitive football Saturday, we’ll see four guys who play competitive football wearing suits and looking nervous, scanning the room for the guy who snuck in a flask.

For how wide-open this Heisman race is supposed to be, it sure seems that Florida’s Tim Te-boner is gonna be the guy.

But should he?

It depends on how you interpret the award. By definition, the Heisman Trophy is awarded to “the outstanding college football player in the United States.” Under that definition, we’d go:

1. Te-boner

2. McFadden

3. Brennan

4. Dorsey

5. Ugh, Daniel?

But what if you interpret the Heisman as the most valuable player? Then, our ballot looks like this:

1. Dixon
2. Brennan
3. Dorsey
4. Daniel
5. Te-Boner

Big difference. Oregon had trouble completing a screen pass once Dixon got hurt. You say that Brennan’s a system guy, and we’d tell you to put Brady Leaf in that system and see what happens. Glenn Dorsey showed just how valuable he was when his gimpiness (gimpiness a real word?) caused distress in the Bayou.

Let’s play hypotheticals. If you get a vote, who you got? Give your winner (or list) based on both “most outstanding” and “most valuable” players.

Troy Smith, who gets a vote, is going with Dixon. Yeah. Fuck Te-boner. Though he’s totally gonna win.
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12 Responses

  1. Most Outstanding:

    Darren McFadden
    Tim Tebow
    Colt Brennan
    Kevin Smith
    Michael Crabtree

    Most Valuable:

    Colt Brennan
    Dennis Dixon
    Chase Daniel
    Glenn Dorsey
    Knowshon Moreno

  2. Outstanding:

    Tebow
    Brennan
    McFadden
    Smith
    Daniel

    Valuable:

    Tebow (probably have 6 losses w/o him)
    Daniel
    Dixon
    McFadden (w/o him Jones would still put up good numbers)
    Brennan (missed 2-3 games and his team didn’t skip a beat)

  3. Zach, as a member of Stiles’ roundtable with you, I don’t need to re-explain my love for Te-boner.

    But I will say this, would Arkansas be that much different with Felix Jones getting all the carries? McFadden threw out a 43 yarder against Auburn and 88 vs. Miss St. If you can name one game where Tebow was THAT pedestrian, I’ll got to the dumpster behind Planned Parenthood and eat anything out of it that you want me to.

  4. I think no matter who you vote for that Pat White should be at least talked about – we all saw how pedestrian the WVU offense looked without him – although they also looked pretty crappy with him in that game so maybe I’m just talking nonsense. Anyway, he’s good too.

  5. That slut Teboner is with in that pic should win the Heisman. Most valuable rack.

  6. I agree with JMC, White should be a finalist.

  7. biggest boobs i’ve ever seen:
    the picture above

    college athelete that looks most like encenco man:
    tim tebow

    most valuable:
    d.dixon
    d.connor
    j.long
    d.mcfadden
    t.tebow

  8. Dixon ten times over. Oregon trashed ASU for 21 points in like 5 minutes with Dennis. Without Dennis, they looked like they were going to go head to head with Washington for crappiest team in the PAC-10.

  9. I don’t think that it would be wise to award someone the Heisman who is in a wheelchair.

  10. ive heard from some inside sources that tebow is a virgin, that being said id go with colt or dmac cause u know they are scoring both on and off the field

  11. Dixon if it was an MVP award. If you are picking the best college player, my vote goes to Brennan.

  12. who’s that babe in the photo? what a set! Sign her up for round 3 of the contest, zach!

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