Yahoo’s ‘projected’ fantasy points are bullshit

In the land of projections, hypotheticals and unicorns, we are 6-5, hung like Ron Jeremy and have the looks of both Brad Pitt and Denzel.

And our fantasy football team, clearly, wins all the time.

But we don’t live in that magical world. Rather we live in an “actual” world, where Willie Parker doesn’t score touchdowns and Jeff Reed takes pictures of his penis instead of kicking field goals.

Fantasy Football has pissed us off all season; we see it as a sure-fire way to be in a pissed off mood on Sundays.

But our team is raw. C’mon, look at that team. Indestructible.

Naturally, we were “projected” to win our playoff game because Reggie Wayne was “projected” to go for about 80 yards and a score and Willis McGahee and the hapless Ravens were “projected” to be a professional football team.

We went down in the playoffs; bitterness followed. We were “projected” to win. “Projected” to take home the hot chick with big cans in the halter top from the bar. “Projected” to fall in to piles of money like those kids from Cruel Intentions.

But life isn’t about projections. It’s about actuality. And our team can go “actually” fuck themselves.

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7 Responses

  1. Playoffs?! Are you kidding me? Don’t talk abou- PLAYOFFS?!

    I know a thing or two about disappointing fantasy performances – do the words Frank Gore, Marvin Harrison, Andre Johnson, Maurice Drew, Carson Palmer and CHI-DEF mean anything to you?

  2. How the hell did you end up with that team??? Are you in a 4 team league??? I had to start Rueben fucking Droughns for God’s sake!!!

  3. fantasy posts suck.

  4. Uhh… that team is pretty weak. gmoney you must just suck a$$ at fantasy football then. But yeah, Marvin Harrison has to be the most dissapointing fantasy player this year.

  5. supdawg, yeah, Harrison as well as Alexander, Driver, and McNabb also starred on my 6-8 team.

  6. Having a Fantasy Football squad to follow would ruin pro football’s Ambien effect. Three hours of sleep on Sunday afternoon tops any hour-long masturbation session, unless the operative hands belong to (insert Would you do… champion).

  7. hey i won my yahoo league so i’m in favor of them… at least for this season.

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