Would you do…New England’s Meghan Vasconcellos?

Why we might:

The easy answer: She’s ridiculously hot.

The more in-depth answer: There’s not too much to say about it. Great face, Pantene Pro-V-like hair, perfect tits.

And that’s not even the best picture of her! Check this one out (SFW, but barely). Holy bukakke fest! She’s beyond hot.

If she were a temperature, she’d be Fahrenheit 451. If she were a chewing gum, she’d be Hot Ice, which doesn’t mildly make sense. If she were a space object, she’d be the sun ’cause she’d burn you alive.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: She’s too hot.

The more in-depth answer: “What the fuck,” you’ll say, “is too hot?”

It’s two-fold:

1. She’ll ruin every other sexual experience you’ll ever have. No lay could ever live up to that of Meghan Vasconcellos. Even if you bag the hottest girl in the hottest nightclub in the hottest city, she still won’t be Meghan Vasconcellos. Just think, when you finish nailing her, the best sex of your life is in the past. That’s a dark thought.

2. That best sex will last for, give or take, 36 seconds. Most guys, on average, probably bang for about 15 minutes. Not with Meghan. You’d get Jim/Nadia syndrome from American Pie (third paragraph down). You might not get your shit wrapped up before you explode.

The answer: Of course it’s a “yes.” Four Long Islands for her…to even contemplate sex with a regular person in the first place. None for us. Maybe a camcorder and a jar to bottle up the experience.

C’mon, she’s the hottest piece of ass in the cheerleading world we could find. (Though we think she’s retired from the Pats). And right down our alley, too, with the tan skin, dark hair and plastic cans. We love that look. Fuck. But do value the fact that she might ruin sex from here on out. It’ll be great at the time, but you could be looking at 50+ years of downhill sex if you nail her now.

All right, folks. The polls are open. But don’t shy away from the comments. Is the best 30 seconds of your life worth it to ruin sex forever…

Would you do…Meghan Vasconcellos?
Yes
No
  
pollcode.com free polls

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21 Responses

  1. she does the most AMAZING body… but in that FHM pic she’s making a face like a chipmunk or she ate something sour. clearly not the hottest cheerleader, but still who wouldn’t bang this broad? i’ll say two LI’s for me to prolong the experience, and 5 for her so she’ll have no inhibition about banging a regular guy but not so drunk she doesn’t remember (regret?) it in the morning.

  2. Anyone who says no to Meghan is either:

    1. Gay
    2. Fucked up in the head
    3. Gay

    This chick can beat Erin Andrews

  3. stiles……please check into the nearest hospital for an evaluation….Shes hot no doubt….Better than EA? Too many egg nogs for you!

  4. Problem solved: Rub one out before you fuck her, “Something About Mary” style.

  5. She better be careful if Chris Cooley ever winds up a Patriot, he’d be all over that ass, and rightly so.

  6. I’ve never had Jim/Nadia issues…somehow, my dick knows to step it up for new pussy. Moreover, 3 LITs effectively takes away my ability to nut.

    It’s 45-0 as I type (fittingly, a Pats score), so I don’t have to declare.

    Shit-talking aside, I don’t think it would be all downhill from there. Normally, for reasons I won’t get into, these smokin’ hot chics are a disappointment in bed. With two memorable exceptions (admittedly, fading memories), my best romps have been with average-looking broads.

    In this case, take into account ethnicity. “Vasconcellos” is a Portuguese/Brazilian name (don’t ask me how I know…I just know these things). Brazilian broads are easy, full-service lays. If 20-year old Puerto Rican girls are the Wayne Gretzky of lays (and they are, but a white guy usually doesn’t get to bang them until after they hit 25…by then, they’ve typically pumped out 3 kids and have an ass that makes JLo’s look like Meghan’s), think of Brazilians as…Brett Hull.

    On the other hand, you have to figure that anyone that would spell “Meghan” with an aitch has to be Irish…and Irish broads are the worst lays.

    Bottom line: She either does it like a Brazilian, which will make you want more, or an Irish broad, which will make you want better.

  7. You most certainly have to say yes, just for the experience.

    But with a last name like that, there is a chance she could fuck you and then rob you.

  8. Not sure what is more disturbing…that my vote made it 55-0 in the “Yes” column, or the haggish picture of Hilary Clinton in the ad next to the results. Talk about a boner-breaker.

  9. It is not possible to have a better body than hers. If you want me to nitpick her face isn’t perfect, but it’s very cute. That actually might make her hotter because she doesn’t have that “I’m a fucking supermodel face” and accompanying attitude.

    Mistake margarita for her and a couple shots of medium quality vodka for me, just so I can relax and not be so jittery I can’t make it past the labia.

  10. Yes. The bad face in the FHM pic and my dislike of fake boobs isn’t nearly enough to consider saying no.

    The vote is apparently 74-0 now.

  11. I completely agree with signal to noise. The face in the swimsuit pic (and in a few others I looked at) is a little weird, and I’m not a fake tit fan, but of course I would hit that. But I’d need about 3 LIs to settle the nerves/boost the confidence.

  12. It’s a yes from me.

  13. These polls are great, Zach. It really gives us some insight into the blog’s readers. For example, we now know that 2% of your followers are homosexual.

  14. Does her butthole count?

  15. How can there even be a single “no”, let alone 9? What is wrong with those guys? Gay is not the answer. Hell, even gays would have to strongly consider changing over for the chance to nail this girl.

    I am lost, my faith shattered. Thank God for rstiles.

  16. Hot?Yeah..but not THE hottest pussy around.That calendar shot makes her face look a little funky.Still hot but not THE hottest.That said,I would let her slurp the knob and tongue the ballbag.Then I would hoover the roast beef curtains before chewing on the clam neck clit.Next up,a Rusty Trombone(she licks your ass while jacking you off,her jacking motion and shit-encrusted lips making her look like she’s playing a rusty trombone.)

  17. Yes! 4 times on Sunday!

  18. she looks like a fucking horse. no thanks.

  19. yea, in my wildest fantasies!

    and great commentary/analysis, Zach!

  20. How about this one for our next entry? T-Wolves “Dancer” Karen? Right up there with Krissandra! And check out her fav things in life–#4 is MS Outlook!

    http://www.nba.com/timberwolves/dancers/
    profile_karen_0708.html

    [from the ‘official’ site]
    What are your five favorite things in the world?

    * Music – listening to it, playing it, singing it, dancing to it!
    * Hanging out with family & roommates šŸ™‚
    * Going to sleep when it’s raining outside
    * Using Microsoft Outlook to organize my life
    * The NBA, the Timberwolves, and every girl on the TW Dance Team!

  21. Like it’s been said, she doesn’t have the best face but c’mon- she’s a cheerleader with big boobs and she’s HOT.

    I’d smash.

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