Glen Rice beat the shit out of monster in wife’s closet

This is a few days old and monsters don’t actually exist, but former NBAer Glen Rice found himself in some legal trouble after he kicked the hell out of a man (likely nude) hiding in his estranged wife’s closet.

Former Miami Heat star Glen Rice was arrested Friday on a felony battery charge after police say he beat a man he found hiding in his estranged wife’s closet.

Rice went to the home of estranged wife Christina Rice and punched Alberto Perez several times, police said. Perez fled the home and called police. He received a cut to his forehead that needed nine stitches, police said.

Just like a scene out of The Last Boy Scout, an awesome ’90s shoot-’em-up with Damon Wayans as a washed up, coked-up former football star, Bruce Willis as a tired, disgruntled detective and Halle Berry as a stripper. (You get to see her cans, sorta. NSFW video action here!)

Anyway, Bruce Willis goes into his estranged (perhaps divorced?) wife’s house, talks to her, gets all detective-y, sees the toilet seat up in the bathroom, opens the closet, sees his best friend (or something like that) naked, knocks him around, and then said best friend gets blown up in a car by the bad guys.

The moral of the story? The guy who got his ass kicked by Glen Rice is going to get blown up by the bad guys from The Last Boy Scout.

Oh, and Rice’s wife is a total MILF. Why Glen ever let her become estranged boggles the mind. We’ll happily get our ass kicked by him to hump with her.

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4 Responses

  1. Was the guy in the closet, Rumeal Robinson???

  2. Isn’t that the same broad that, a la Brenda Warner, used to flap her gums about how the team was using him?

    Just goes to show you that, no matter how hot a broad is, somewhere, there’s a guy who is sick of her shit.

    She’s smokin’ but doesn’t fit my definition of the “M” in MILF (any kids have to have reached puberty). I think she was in Whale Tails and Tramp Stamps, catching it from Lexington Steele.

  3. The man in the closet was Alberto “Beto” Perez. He is the inventor of Zumba…a class that Christy attends very regularly. Beto’s Zumba videos are the #1 home workout video’s (new ones about to be realeased this month). They’ve been messing around for quite a while.

  4. They actually were a couple – Christy and Alberto, that is. They went out in public and she told him and everyone she was divorced. Sneaky b*@$%h

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