Would you do…Nets Girl Jaclyn?

Why we might:

The easy answer: Heck, she’s a hometown hottie.

The more in-depth answer: Loves sex. Hot and loves sex. That’s like cookies and cream; peanut butter and jelly; beer and football. They just work together.

In her Maxim bio, she’s asked if she had to choose between boring sex all the time or great sex once a year. She says, “I don’t think I could go a year without sex, so we’d just have to make it interesting!”

Awesome! She’s a nympho!

Why we might not:

The easy answer: Pretty vanilla.

The more in-depth answer: You can judge a lot by a girl’s piercings and tattoos: tongue ring and she likes to give head, tat on the small of the back and she’ll sleep with your entire Sigma Chi house.

Well, Jaclyn just has her ears pierced which isn’t too exciting. That says to us, “I was brought up Catholic, got good grades in school and I like romantic comedies with Hugh Grant.”

Straight arrows aren’t always for us.

Also, she claims to be able to, “See right through bullshit.” That’s not good for us!

The answer: She’s a hottie — a hometown one, in fact. Whatever that means. — and has her ears pierced! Whoa! Um yeah, expect it missionary, twice a week, right before bed. Spontaneity is out the door.

For the record, let’s call it one Long Island for us and six for her to, ya know, loosen her up a bit.

All right, folks. The polls are open. But don’t shy away from the comments. Is this Rutgers grad going to give you some Pandemonium in Piscataway? Or is this broadcast journalism major a little to one-dimensional for you? You call it in the polls.

Would you do…Jaclyn?
Yes
No
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‘I don’t roll on Shabbos’

The fine folks in the Colorado Senate are recognizing that it ain’t kosher for a Jewish school to play on Shabbat, the day of rest.

From The Denver Post.

In a bipartisan show of support for a local Jewish school basketball team,
lawmakers in the Senate this morning urged state athletics officials to push
back a game until after sundown on Saturday.

The boys from Herzl/Rocky Mountain Hebrew Academy basketball team are
currently fighting their way through their high school district playoffs. If the
team wins one more game, it will play for the championships. But the Colorado
High School Activities Association has scheduled that championship game for
during the day on Saturday and has said it won’t move the contest.

The boys’ religious beliefs dictate that they not play between sundown
Friday and sundown Saturday.

If Herzl/Rocky Mountain Hebrew Academy isn’t the most daunting high school name out there, we don’t know what is.

Big Picture Categories: sports movies

King’s Cup might be the best drinking game out there. Everyone has their own version, there’s ample drinking and sometimes — on a few lucky occasions — hot chicks end up naked. One of the best “games” in King’s Cup is Categories, which often is represented by the Jack card. In Categories, the person who draws the card says a category (fast food joints, baseball stadiums, etc.) and everyone must go around the circle naming one until somebody stumbles. When that person fucks up, they drink. Make sense? Good.

For how much we like sports, sports movies have never really done it for us. They’re often trite, cliché and corny. Occasionally there will be a good one and, for some, these niche movies really work.

With last weekend’s Academy Awards, movies are on people’s minds. So let’s keep things sports-related and list off some of the best — and inevitably some of the worst — sports flicks of all time. We’ll start and you guys continue in the comments. You can go again after every five comments. One — one! — answer per comment, assbags. First person to mess up has to listen to “Wild Thing” on repeat.

We’ll start with one we quite enjoy: Major League.

All right, movie buffs. Spew your pop-culture knowledge in the comments.

Your 2008 free agent All-Star team

The first Spring Training games are tomorrow and we, probably like you, sorta can’t wait. The Mets play the Tigers! Texas vs. Kansas City in the battle of Surprise, Ariz.! Baseball! Actual, live baseball! With runs and innings and outs and umpires! It’s here! Finally!

Well, for us, anyway. For these lads below, that whole matter of finding a team still remains. Damn logistics.

There are still so many big-name players currently unemployed that we’ve compiled a list of remaining free-agents who are former All-Stars (year(s) selected in parenthesis). It’s a pretty solid squad. We think it would probably take two of three from the Giants. Here goes:

C – Mike Piazza (1993-2002, 2004, 2005)
1B – Ryan Klesko (2001)
2B – Julio Franco (1989-1991)
3B – Jeff Cirillo (1997, 2000)
SS – Tony Batista (2000, 2002)
LF – Barry Bonds (1990, 1992-1998, 2000-2004, 2007)
CF – Kenny Lofton (1994-1999)
RF – Shawn Green (1999, 2002)
DH – Sammy Sosa (1995, 1998-2002, 2004)
Bench – Reggie Sanders (1995); Preston Wilson (2003); Rondell White (2003)
P – Roger Clemens (1986, 1988, 1990-1992, 1997, 1998, 2001, 2003-2005); David Wells (1995, 1998, 2000); Aaron Sele (1998, 2000); Eric Milton (2001); Russ Ortiz (2003)
RP – Armando Benitez (2003-2004); Jose Mesa (1995-1996)

Let’s go, GMs. Rondell White is still out there. Rondell White!

ALS

They still love Kelvin Sampson in Montana

Perhaps you didn’t know this: Kelvin Sampson used to be the men’s basketball coach at Montana Tech. Yeah, true story.

He was the coach for the Orediggers – the Orediggers! We can’t tell you what an Oredigger is or does. (Someone please help!) — and later donated $50,000 toward the cost of renovating their athletic facilities. He’s a beloved figure there, you could say. So much so that they named their new court after him.

And they aren’t going to change it.

Montana Tech has no plans to change the name of its new basketball court, despite recent allegations against its namesake, former Indiana men’s basketball coach Kelvin Sampson, athletic director Joe McClafferty said.

Montana Tech is 5-17 and could use a new coach. We might know someone who’s available. Just sayin’. Or, hey, a phone call or two couldn’t hurt.

ALS

Shouldn’t some one take a flier on Barry Bonds?


The days are longer, the sun is brighter and there’s baseball in the air. Spring Training is underway and for the next month, you can talk about how your team has a chance at the playoffs, if X pitcher wins X games, X player has an .XXX OBP and just about everything else breaks right.

Hey, the Giants are 0-0 right now, tied for first and haven’t yet lost 100 games. Times are good!

But with all the optimism in the air surrounding your favorite team, why hasn’t any team jumped the gun on Barry Bonds yet?

Sure, he’s 1.) A legal issue and 2.) A PR nightmare, but teams can’t complain about his .276 batting average, .480 on-base, .565 slugging, 28 jacks and 75 runs scored in 126 games last season.

It’s clear he’s become a defensive liability, but just about any AL West team could use his services and DH him. Hell, if an NL team could get him on the cheap, platoon him in left field. At this point, a guy like Bonds could put a good team over the hump. And he’s close to achieving some milestones; that’ll put fans in the seats.

We’ll see what happens. But we suppose Kangaroo court is the least of his worries.

Would you do…Kings dancer Candace?

Why we might:

The easy answer: Great rack.

The more in-depth answer: Candace is one of those naughty Kings dancers who took some racy photos. (Safe for work, unless you work at a monastery).

The fact that she’s willing to get tanked, flirt with her dance-mates and document it all shows complete confidence and a willingness to break the rules; she’s a bad girl and that’s a huge turn on.

And she might be an exhibitionist. That’s pants-stirring, too.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: Favorite TV shows listed in last season’s bio: So You Think You Can Dance, The Bachelor and Project Runway.

The more in-depth answer: Candace is from Springfield, Ore., the town most believe The Simpsons is based upon.

That would normally be a good thing — The Simpsons is an all-time great. But the town is a bit backwards, making Candace, by mere association, a bit backwards.

For all we know, her dad worked at a power plant, she shopped at the Quickie Mart and her first legal drink came at Moe’s Tavern.


The answer:
She’s definitely our type. Sexy hair, curvy and wild. You know she’s a freak in the sack and would have no qualms about experimenting.

And with those recent photos surfacing, that makes it even more of a no-brainer. No Long Islands for us, three for her to consider and a camera to cherish the memories.

All right, folks. The polls are open. But don’t shy away from the comments. Is this trouble-maker for your liking? Wanna find out if the carpet matches the drapes? Or are her sophomoric antics not your style? Let the poll be the judge…

Would you do…Candace?
Yes
No
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