Would you do…Seagal Heidi?

Why we might:

The easy answer: If that’s not a perfect stomach, we don’t know what is.

The more in-depth answer: Holy shit that’s a nice stomach! Wow! (Deep breath).

Tight, flat, muscular. If she doesn’t do 10,000 sit ups a day, she has wonderful genes.

It’s not that shocking to see an NFL cheerleader with a magnificent body, but holy shit! Look at that stomach! She could make a career as a stomach model.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: Well, this picture isn’t very flattering.

The more in-depth answer: She’s kind of a “butter face.” In some pictures she’s cute, in others, well, they make paper bags for a reason.

As our pal Bokolis puts it: “Heidi’s face looks like she stole some HGH from Mary J. Blige.”

Also, Heidi says in her bio that her most prized possession is her baby blanket. OK, we had a baby blanket, too. It’s hard to part with those things. But we got rid of ours when we were, oh, 7.

Give it up, darling. If we come back to your place to see a pile of stuffed animals, a baby blanket and a Barbie comforter, our anxiousness to get in bed is going to dramatically decrease.

The answer: With that body, you bet we’d hit it. We would feel up that belly all night long. Perhaps even cover it with food and eat a meal off it, just for the hell of it. Holy shit! Perfection. She could be covered in feces and that stomach would still be luscious.

We don’t think she’s drop-dead-gorgeous, but she’s certainly cute. She grew up in Seattle’s East Side suburbs, implying she’s a snotty, stuck up rich girl. A generalization yes, but those suburban girls aren’t always so down to Earth.

For the record, we’ll call it one Long Island to get some courage to talk to her. For her? Anything that shows off that midriff will do, thanks.

All right, folks. The polls are open. But don’t shy away from the comments. Her body’s flawless. Everything else? That’s up to you…

(Thanks to commenting stallion Bokolis for the suggestion).

Would you do…Heidi?
Yes
No
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18 Responses

  1. Without a doubt I would fuck her….I will be honest tho, I know she would kick my ass while we were fucking….

    Also, I think we will have a good tournament once Zach sets up the brackets…I will say, every one of the cheerleaders that you posted are all fuckable…and there is not one clear favorite like Erin Andrews…

    I could see some close match-ups…

  2. I’m getting up on my high-horse here, but she is just gross. Who cares about her abs? At the end of the day, she still looks like a male American Gladiator.

  3. I would suck the snot out of her and nostril fuck her. Because my dick is that small.

  4. so I watched her little video clip and she actually looked pretty good. And I am definitely a stomach man. I love a woman with a nice flat stomach, and hers is amazing, so of course I would do her. 2 LIs to make sure her face looks cute.

  5. That close up of her makes her look like a goddamn tranny. Not into this one. She’s a meat hook.

  6. 4 LITs for me, to provide the necessary goggles, some HGH detox or a bottle of Proactiv for Heidi.

    She does have a sick body. If you stare at the referee pictures long enough, you can almost convince yourself that you see camel toe.

  7. It’s time for Zach to put his money where The Big Picture’s mouth is by, errr, putting his mouth where Heidi’s moneymaker is…or something like that.

    Do we have to place a bounty on her? Time to hit the gyms, because I’m pretty sure she can’t be found at Murphy’s. Better yet, when the Seagals hit the United Way, Make a Wish, etc., someone has to cover it, right?

  8. bokolis,

    if you do some scouting, i’ll see if we can put together a little field trip.

  9. If you guys that say she’s manish saw her in a bar with a tummy shirt on you would jump her if she blinked your way. You’re cheese fry eating asses are losers b/c you think that every girl on the internet should look like some teenage character from Friday Night Lights, you’re all losers, I would ride her until she stopped me with a massive keigle that would crush my dick.

  10. Another no doubter, I’d hit that again and again. Come on Big Picture, give us a challenge. Make us think with one of these.

  11. abs??? who cares – i’m more interested in what is above & below her abs – but i’m not seeing much to grab my attention

  12. Zach,
    scouting = provide logistical support so that you and Heidi are in the same place at the same time???

    If it’s something more involved, fire me an e-mail.

  13. yeah, bokolis. see if there’s some sort of seagals appearance in the seattle area that is open to the public and young stallions who want to make sweet love to heidi.

  14. This is the first time I’ve ever voted no. Her face is painful. She looks like she could be Steven Seagal’s sister in that first picture. I don’t want to be fucking her and have her snap my neck…

    http://subjecttoblackout.files.wordpress.com/2006/06/Seagal.jpg

    case and point

  15. While I wouldn’t suck the snot out of her nose, I would allow her to crush my spine, waist, whatever, for however long she wanted. A beautiful healthy woman right there.

  16. ivro,

    you’re on to something: steven seagal, heidi seaGAL. whoa!!

  17. I’d do her just like the gorgeous Bonnie Bernstein!

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