Fuck. There are some good college players who went undrafted. Adarius Bowman? He was the shit. Yvenson Bernanrd couldn’t spell, but he was solid, too.


We’re always surprised this time of year about some of the big-name college players who get drafted late on Day 2 of the NFL Draft — or those players who don’t get drafted at all.

There’s gotta be something said for a guy who starred in college, despite his mediocre speed, average size or lack of upside not translating well to the NFL. We’ve always thought that was bullshit. Look at Tom Brady. College star. Joe Flacco? Bust bust bust.

Rivals.com neatly compiled an all-undrafted team, which you can find here. If you’re too lazy to click the link (hey, we’ve all been there), here are some of the notable players that are now free agents.

Sam Keller – The Sun Devil turned Husker QB has one of the hottest lady friends of all the rookies, but either is too small, too slow or simply can’t throw the football very well.

Davone Bess – He caught like eight hundred thousand touchdowns at Hawaii. But is said to be a “system receiver,” though could probably flourish in one of 32 “systems.”

Adarius Bowman – A stud in ’06 at Oklahoma State, he was a disappointment in ’07 posting only mediocre numbers after being considered one of the top returning wide receivers. Apparently is slow.

Vince Hall – Member of a solid linebacking corps at Va. Tech that also included Xavier Adibi. Wore No. 9 which we think is beyond badass for a linebacker. Too small and not fast enough were reasons for not being drafted. NFL team would likely make him change number.

Anthony Morelli – Every NFL team gets an A for passing on the former Penn State QB. Man, we kept saying the day we saw Morelli make three good passes in a row we’d give up masturbation for six hours. Thankfully he didn’t.

Yvenson Bernard – The Oregon State back rushed for over 1,200 yards every year as a starter and finished second on the school’s all-time rushing list. But is too small, doesn’t have breakaway speed and NFL teams don’t understand the spelling of his name.

Alexi Serna – Sticking with OSU, the Beavers’ place kicker won the 2005 Lou Groza Award as the nation’s best placekicker. Also holds the Oregon State record for consecutive successful extra points at 144. Though will be remembered for missing three PATs in his first collegiate game in a 22-21 OT loss to defending National Champion LSU. That he even had a collegiate career after that is nothing short of a miracle.

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Murray State quarterback is dumb, $20 richer

Murray State quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt will see your prank and raise it.

Murray State quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt was charged with pushing a campus police officer and taking his ticket book. The athletic director called this “a prank gone bad.”

Ehrhardt, a 20-year-old sophomore, was arrested Wednesday and charged with second-degree robbery. He surrendered to the campus public safety office and returned the ticket book after a witness identified him.

The charge carries a potential prison term of up to 10 years.

According to the police report, Ehrhardt said he was bet $20 he wouldn’t take such action against the officer.

Pranks have changed a lot since we’ve been in college. We used to bet kids they couldn’t run through the quad naked singing Barry Manilow or try to trick a Washington State student into thinking they were smart.

Now it’s robbing cops at gunpoint dressed up as ex-presidents.

What? He just took his ticket book? And it was a campus cop? Up to 10 years in the clink? It’s a good thing he’s a superstar quarterback at a D-1 powerhouse.

Oh. Right.

A FOX producer was either in a marching band or plugged up a band member with a clarinet


Our friends at Awful Announcing told you all about how ridiculous FOX’s coverage of the Orange Bowl was last week. According to AA, FOX cameras found a band member from either team 110 times, which is about 108 times too many.

Things weren’t much better for Monday’s National Championship. Those fucking bands were on TV more than the teams. We didn’t count the shots, but it was probably about two hundred thousand. Bloody hell.

American Pie told you all the goodies that happen at band camp, so we were crossing our fingers we’d get a shot of a trumpet player getting sodomized with a trombone or a shot of the sultry saxophonist getting a facial from the drum line.

Meanwhile, after about 900 looks at the Ohio State band, we’ve fully decided they are dressed more appropriately for war than for football. They look like the French fucking army. Those berets are a combination of hideous and horrendous.

But hey, Thom Brennaman was fucking great. The same enthusiasm you’d hear for a preseason game. Thanks, Thom.

Monday Night Football, without Kornheiser being awkward with some fucking random halftime guest

Photos courtesy of Big Ten Poon and SEC Poon.


There’s a football game tonight. We’d be lying if we said we were excited. Really just wanted an excuse to show those LSU girls again.

Feel free to leave your picks for the game (all LSU, right?), and how many Long Islands you’d need to do the Ohio State girls.

There are still two more bullshit bowl games


Once upon a time, in a land of chocolate waterfalls, talking animals and rainbows made of cake frosting, lame bowl games were played in December.

Those simpler times are, unfortunately, long gone. With the conclusion of the non-championship BCS games, we should be gearing up for the final college football game of the 2007-08 season. But wait, jolly chaps, there are still two lousy games to go.

Saturday is the International Bowl, a boner-popping match up between Rutgers and Ball State — in Toronto! Whoa! Toronto!

And Sunday, ditch the NFL playoffs for Bowling Green vs. Tulsa in the GMAC Bowl.

Speaking of the GMAC Bowl, remember the ’01 game between East Carolina and Marshall? Fucking awesome game. Marshall, behind Byron Leftwich, came from about 100 points down and the teams combined for about 800,000 points with the Thundering Herd edging the Pirates in double OT. But perhaps the best thing about that one: it was played on Dec. 19!

Meanwhile, ESPN and FOX Sports are reporting the BCS Championship game is going to be played Monday in New Orleans. We somehow think Chris Mortensen and Jay Glazer combined for the scoop.

Bowl gifts are fun and neat and free


The Poinsettia Bowl is this evening.

Utah. Navy. Pre-cum is forming.

The games don’t mean very much and watching Utah and Navy play a meaningless football game, in a half-empty stadium with a shitty flower for a name might be as exciting as watching your pubic hair grow.

Rather than watch the game, just know that the players, regardless of the outcome, will score some pretty cool gifts, just for showing up. Go 8-4, get a free trip to San Diego and receive a PSP Slim, Madden ’08 and some clothing. Not bad for lousy bowl.

iPods and other electronics (camcorders, game consoles, GPS) are big this year. And clothes. Lots of clothes. You can see the full list of bowl shwag here.

Some other hightlights:


Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl: Apple iPod touch; Under Armour Aero sackpack; Cap. That iPod touch is probably pretty cool and the cap is probably instant pussy. The players could probably do without the sackpack though. Maybe something more Las Vegas-related would be better. Say, oh, a Penn & Teller show.


Pacific Life Holiday Bowl: Nintendo Wii, Madden NFL 08; Fossil watch; Sweatshirt or polo (TBD), cap. Again with the cap. These must be fucking awesome caps. Total pussy-finders. And you know that ASU coach Dennis Erickson will be losing sleep not knowing if he’s coming up on a sweatshirt or polo.

Champs Sports Bowl: Party at Best Buy; $400 Best Buy gift card for each player; Timely Watch Co. watch; Panama Jack sunglasses; Panama Jack T-shirt, hat. A party at Best Buy?! Whoa! We’re envisioning dancing camcorders, singing TVs and laptops trying to spike the punch. With plenty of streamers and party hats, of course.
Texas Bowl: Watch; Duffel bag; Hoodie, T-shirt, cap, Nocona cowboy boots. It’s too bad Bill Snyder doesn’t coach K-State anymore. He would’ve been a knock out in the cowboy boots.
The National Championship game isn’t that sweet. Pretty much just a Wii and some games. You know that Les Miles was holding out for that party at Best Buy.

‘Real Men of Genius’: Notre Dame Sucks

“BC’s got better Christians.” Fucking classic!