Ex-Blogger Interviews: Zach Landres-Schnur

Every once in a while, we like to reach out to those that have long since left the blogosphere in an effort to see how post-blogging life is coming along. Today’s interview is Zach Landres-Schnur, who left The Big Picture to live a life of solitude in the backwoods of the Pacific Northwest. Feel free to let him have it in the comments. We won’t mind.

1. The Rundown

Name: Zach Landres-Schnur
Age: 24
Location: West Nowhere, Washington
Occupation: Amateur fisherman/amateur hunter/amateur showerer

2. Take us through a typical day of, um, foresting?

I typically wake up just before dawn. That way I can head down to the creek and watch the sun come up over the hills, and really just absorb everything Mother Nature has to offer. After that we make coffee, ground from the purest dirt you could find anywhere in upstate Washington. The rest of the day we sort of shoot the shit, you know? Playing card games with cards carved from bark, tossing around the deerskin, whatever we feel like. Just living the dream.

3. Have you maintained contact with any of your loyal followers from The Big Picture?

I’ve had a little contact with a few of the guys. We got about 6 hours into the trip and were going stark raving mad without phone or internet, but we coped. We killed and skinned a hiker and jacked his phone, and that was enough. I hit up NFL Adam and he lovingly called me a redwood-fucking cocksmoker. Man, that took me back. Great guy.

4. What do you wipe with?

I locate the person that has disappointed me the most that particular day, and well, there ya go.

5. What are some of the essential blogs that you used to read?

I have to go with Flyers Fieldhouse. That’s about all I read. That McBain sure was swell. They were pretty lazy updating, but it’s not like I could take having my mind blown three times a day, anyway. Yes sir…FLYERS FIELDHOUSE.

6. What do you miss most about life in the civilized world?

Nothing at all, bro. Nothing. At. All. Being out here these last four days has really changed me for the better. I can feel myself shedding all the profanity-laden baggage that has been dragging me down these last couple years and morphing into a butterfly. A beautiful, eloquent, 95 words-per-minute butterfly.

7. So can we assume you’ll stay out here a while longer?

Fuck no, you fucking fuck.