The Pirates could be World Champions (if they played the Giants more often)

No need to sugarcoat this: The Pittsburgh Pirates are a very bad team and have been for a very long time. They haven’t had a .500+ season since 1992. That was only a year after the fall of the Soviet Union! Yeeesh.

Normally, we’d sympathize for an organization in such shambles. But not the Pirates. We fucking hate the Pirates. If their sunflower seeds tasted like spoiled sour cream that’d be fine. We’d also like it if they never learned to read.

Because, Jesus, they fucking kill our San Francisco Giants.

After the Pirates 5-4 win yesterday, which completed a three-game sweep, they are now 20-8 against the Giants dating back to 2004. That’s a .714 winning percentage. Their winning percentage over that five-year span is .427.

The Giants haven’t exactly been a successful team during that time period, either. But still. They’re the Pirates.

Now please, Pittsburgh, go lose 10 in a row. And may your iPods only play Hannah Montana songs.

Gorgeous park, though.