Now there’s a surprising headline

In other shocking news, turns out that Jackie Robinson was black.


So that’s what happens when cops seize tickets

Get right the fuck outta town.

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

About 10 city police officers are being investigated by internal affairs for allegedly using World Series tickets that had been seized from scalpers, Chief Joe Mokwa confirmed Sunday.

Really. Used them?! Monsters.

We weren’t at the scene of the crime, but we had a feeling this is how things played out once the dirty cops confiscated the tickets:

Officer A: Hey guys, what should we do with these tickets?
Officer B: Turn them in as evidence, of course.
Officer C: Pussy.
Officer B: You have a better idea, C?
Officer C: Yeah, we sell them.
Officer A: And do what with the money?
Officer B: Buy our wives something nice?
Officer C: B, throw yourself off a fucking bridge.
Officer A: We could buy some nice stuff — these tickets are worth a lot.
Officer C: My vote is for hookers. Or blow.
Officer A: I second that.
Officer B: I know how you guys like your drugs and women, but what if we give the tickets to our friends and family and all go the game?
Officer C: All those things I said, B…yeah, forget it. Great idea!

Don’t know if the officers will do time in a minimum-security resort for this, but regardless the punishment, it’ll be a small price to pay for seeing a World Series game. And for your home team winning it.