Jenn Sterger may be coming to a campus near you!

That’s right, folks! Jenn’s taking a road trip to college campuses across the country.

She’ll be making stops at Wichita State, Oregon, Syracuse, LSU, Wisconsin and “a stint in Las Vegas,” which we think means either she’ll be stripping our checking out UNLV. The two are virtually interchangeable.

Jenn doesn’t know her way around, she admits, because really, who’s been to Wichita State? She’s looking for a guide to take her around, show her the hotspots and teach her about the school spirit. For $10, you can probably cop a feel too.

We need your help, dear readers. If anyone is near these schools, please — please! — go, say hi to Jenn for us and snap some photos. Hell, Eugene, Ore. ain’t all that far from Seattle. Maybe we’ll go.

Don’t know what we’d actually say to her if we met. We’d probably do our best not to mention her rack, but somehow we think we’d slip. “Hey Jenn, you’re one of the breast writers at SI.” Or, “Jenn, your writing is awfully titty.” Or “Jenn, you’re pretty hot, but you write like a fucking six-year-old with autism.”

Yeah, whatever. But if you’re around those towns, check out Jenn in person. See how she looks up close. We bet she’s still hot. If you see her out at a bar or something, snap some photos. We love drunk photos. And we love Jenn. Together that’d be splendid.

Make us proud, people!

(Big ups to Signal to Noise and “kickers_suck” for the tip).

In other news: Sacramento Kings coach Eric Musselman has been suspended for two games for joyriding with the Stanford Tree and Eddie Sutton on Oct. 21.

Fuck Florida

Fuck Florida for winning both the basketball and football National Championship in the same season.

Fuck Florida for giving two of the least memorable championship games in recent memory.

Fuck Florida for being located where it’s sunny and warm, despite it being January.

Fuck Florida for having women like the one pictured with Jenn.

Bitter? Sure we are. We’ve dreamed of Rose Bowls and Final Fours for years and the closest we’ve got is heartbreak, more heartbreak and the occasional team that was far too shitty for us to get too wrapped up in.

We wont talk much about Monday’s game; frankly, there’s not much to talk about. Boring game. No Vince Young-like performance. Nothing that sets this aside from your average college football blowout except the big stage. Didn’t even have Erin Andrews’ ass to look at. (Though that may have been a conflict of interest. She’s a Florida alum, remember?)

For Florida to get two major championships in the same season is just unfair. Life isn’t supposed to work that way. Imagine we’d feel better if Ohio State won. Sure, the Buckeyes have had a tremendous sports year too. But aside from the sports, people in Columbus have, well, whatever it is they have in Columbus.

To be a Gator now must be awesome. Two friggin’ championships, gorgeous women, good weather. Hard not to be jealous.

Kudos to the Gators, we guess. Lots of people around the Interweb are happy. We can be happy for them. That’d be the mature thing to do. Or maybe we’ll try to find some hot Gator alum here in Seattle who will want to celebrate the win. Ya know, like celebrate…if you catch our drift. (Champagne can still be involved).

In other news: Bucks guard Michael Redd is out 4-6 weeks with severe depression following the BCS Championship.

Happy Fucking Birthday!

The naked woman will pop out in 3, 2, 1…

Yeah, it’s our birthday! Today marks the one-year anniversary of The Big Picture and after 365 days of pure and utter crap, we’re still going strong. (It’s also Pearl Harbor Day. We find the coincidence sorta odd).

This site started as a way to keep our writing fresh in between columns at the UW paper, but has evolved into something that is far beyond just a hobby. Starting with about two and half readers, TBP has evolved in to a daily stop for a nice chunk of sports fans.

We’re still writing and updating daily thanks to all of you. Your emails, comments, links, etc. are our motivation to keep doing this. While blogging has helped us pick up chicks (we tell them we own a website — hey, it’s true ya know), we’re not exactly getting compensated for our time. It’s the readers, commentors and funny ass stories in the world of sports that keep us going.

No presents necessary today, but if someone can arrange Jenn Sterger to jump out of that cake, that’d be pretty cool.

As we keep saying, if you like the site, that’s awesome! We can’t thank you enough.

If you don’t like the site, well, that’s cool and thanks for reading anyway, you fucking assholes. Love us or hate us, pass on this site to your friends, family, boss, the woman your boss is nailing on the side, her friends, your secratary, your legitimate (and illegitimate) children, and anyone you know who owns a computer.

Thanks again for everything, folks. And hey, it’s a birthday party after all, so go have some cake and go pin the tail on the ass of that hot chick from Marketing!

Be sure to sign the birthday card.

(And a huge, giant high five to JMC, who threw us a big b-day bash in the post above!)

The top 40 sports figures of 2006


Our homie Mr. Irrelevant has put together a list of the most-talked-about sports figures from 2006. He asked about 50 bloggers (including us) to submit their top 10 most-covered figures from the past year.

It’s a great list and we strongly encourage you to go check it out. Below is our submitted ballot and commentary that we emailed Mr. Irrelevant’s way last week. Also, each sports figure is linked to our archives on that certain person (or horse).

Enjoy!

1. Barbaro – Who thought a horse could be the butt of so many jokes? We had a letter from Barbaro, wrote a letter to Babs in the hospital, and had more glue jokes than you’d expect from a sports blog. When lacking a story to write, hey, just check in with Barbaro. It’s bound to get a laugh.

2. Joe Buck – The only thing positve we wrote about Mr. Buck was that we said a nice word about his father. Yeah, that’s it. If a sports blog could have a villain, Buck would be ours.

3. Jenn Sterger (Cowgirl) – The quickest way to get an SI column? Skimpy clothes and plastic surgery. Sterger’s Mailbag at SI On Campus led to plenty of fictional letters to her. But hey, she went to Florida State and knows that a football field is 100 yards. Those credentials speak for themselves.

4. Norv Turner – When Norv was the coach of the Raiders, we started a Norv Turner Update, letting readers know that he still, somehow, had a job. When he was fired from Oakland, it was a sad, sad day. But his hiring across the bay in SF was a joyous occasion. It’s not so much that we ripped Norv, we like to think of it has employment information.

5. Dennis Green – DENNIS GREEN IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS! That is a mediocre-to-bad coach who couldn’t un-sink the Arizona Cardinals’ ship. And Green’s press conference? Let’s just say it was like a train wreck: we couldn’t turn away. His humorous, yet pathetic news conference and inevitable firing has led to a weekly post at The Big Picture called The Dennis Green Survival Rating.

6. “True” Ramonce Taylor – The former Texas running back got busted by cops at a pecan farm and possessed five pounds of marijuana. He’s been a running joke for anything drug- or pecan-related.

7. The Mexicos – Michael and Marcus Vick, if only people knew the truth. We had all sorts of fun with Michael, err…, Ron and then with Lil’Mexico stomping on someone’s leg and then pulling a gun on some teens at a the local Mickey D’s. The wonderful Ronmexico.com has a feature where you can type in a name — we did our name and some famous athletes — and you get your Ron Mexico-like alias. Great stuff. Just like Mike and Marcus Vick.

8. Erin Andrews – Our signature feature is “Would you do…” where we pick a female sportscaster or sideline reporter and evaluate whether or not readers may like to, well, do her. Andrews has been the most popular and has led to other coverage of her and her reportings. She’s hot and knows sports. What’s not to like?

9. Bode Miller – The big drinking, big partying, big losing skier got plenty of attention during the Olympics. Miller said some strange things, had a poor showing in the 2006 Winter Games, and then signed a one-day contract with a baseball team as some promotion. Ugh, Miller wouldn’t exactly be our first choice as a publicity stunt. Unless it was for tequila, of course.

10. Ricky Williams – We touched on Williams plenty of times, though we don’t think we once mentioned him actually playing football. That says it all about our grass-loving friend.

Gratuitous Jenn Sterger picture

New look. Same IQ.
That is all.

Jenn Sterger knows it all

We all know by now that SI.com’s Jenn Steger (painful to say, by the way) has got all the answers. And we mean all the answers.

But the real question is who the hell are the guys writing to her? These guys are either:

a.) Desperate for sex
b.) half-retarded
c.) all of the above

We’ll go with “C.” These guys are morons among fucking morons. Jenn Sterger knows one thing, take that back, two things. And that is how to gain attention in the Florida State bleachers, and a good doctor to enhance her tits.

We’ve touched on Jenn and her ignorance plenty. Though we’ve never ridiculed her fans and emailers, which, really, is remarkable.

We’re not out to haunt Jenn and beat her to shit, but really, if these guys are writing in to her mailbag, they might as well find her at a bar, say, “Do you come here often?” and leave with their dignity below their morality.

Yeah, pretty pathetic. But hey, Jenn’s all about the Subway Series. So, yeah, go New York.

Enough of Jenn

Jenn Sterger, a girl, is at it again. Her latest version of the Jenn Sterger Mailbag on SI.com came out yesterday, and, well, let’s just say that it didn’t belong on SI.com.

Basically Jenn is just playing the role of a therapist. And a bad one at that.

She takes questions from horny dudes who haven’t got laid since 1996 and gives mediocre-to-lame advice. One of the questions was sports-related and that’s it. The rest are all about her partying, how she likes her dudes — we’re guessing, by the way, that they’re big, buff and rich. But, hey, that’s just a guess — and relationship advice.

So the question becomes: does this girl — who got famous for looking hot at FSU football games — deserve to be writing for SI.com? We suppose that isn’t exactly a tough question. The better question could be: who did she sleep with and where did he get to put it?

Check out some of our Jenn Sterger Mailbags here and here.

In other news: Chase Utley extended his hitting streak to 34 games Wednesday and is in talks with teammate Brett Myers to take the hitting outside the ballpark.