And we’re out like disco


-Tampa goes with Davin Joseph, tackle, Oklahoma at No. 23 and the group at our draft party says in unison, “what the fuck?”

-Here’s some big-name dudes still on the board:

  • Winston Fucking Justice, USC
  • Chad Jackson, Florida
  • Aaron Rodgers, University of We Already Used That Joke
  • Sinorice Moss, Miami
  • Santonio Holmes, The Ohio State
  • DeAngelo Williams, Memphis
  • LenDale White, USC

We’re gonna call it quits for the day. Four hours of live blogging people’s names being called is remarkably tiring. Thanks for hanging out with us and eyeball fucking Suzy Kolber. Enjoy the rest of your day drinking and feel free to leave some comments to generate discussion.

Happy Draft Day! And goodbye Mr. Tagliabue. This is his swan song.

Corey Dillon must be pissed

-New England goes with Laurence Maroney, running back, Minnesota, making the Gopher the second running back taken. Seems strange with DeAngelo Williams and LenDale White still out there, but the Pats apparently know how to draft.

-Captial letters in the middle of a first name is pretty cool. We may try ZaCh out soon.

-Still big WRs on the board, a few good runningbacks and Winston Fucking Justice. Our 49ers are back on the clock and if they fuck this up, Vernon Davis may cry.

-And they go with Manny Lawson, defensive end, NC State. We wanted offense, but we like Lawson over a mid-tier cornerback. Years of drafting an average DB late in the first round who amounted to nothing was no fun. They’re saying on the TV that Lawson slipped, so maybe he’s good.

-So with Mario Williams and Lawson, why didn’t NC State win more games?

Norv Turner update: 12:39 PST and he’s still got a job. But Winston Justice may have made his first year in SF easier.

San Diego does not give a fuck if you played last year


-The Chargers pass up on Eli Manning and go with Antonio Cromartie, cornerback, Florida State. Jaws hates the pick — in part because Cromartie didn’t play last year — but still Jaws is being a douche.

-Cromatie, pictured, was seen with a child on his lap. We think it’s his, though it may be Matt Leinart’s.

-Chris Berman is not a soothsayer — he just gets the pick before we do.

-Kansas City decides to pick Tamba Hali at No. 20 and we don’t know who he is. But Mel Kiper likes him.

-Mel just mentioned “great motor.” Take 1 drink.

-Anyone else getting beer goggles going? Suzy Kolber is looking good! Guess now we know what Joe Namath was thinking.

-Still no WRs taken. Chad Jackson’s butting his head against a wall.

-New England is on the clock…time for Tom Brady to get a new butt-buddy (receiver)?

Could Ohio State have uglier linebackers?


-No. 18 has Dallas snagging Bobby Carpenter, linebacker, The Ohio State.

-Here at The Big Picture headquarters, we think ESPN is doing a piss poor job of letting us know what’s up with the upcoming picks. C’mon, give us and idea of who’s coming or why Winston Justice is slipping.

-Trent Green looks old. Just for Men will be knocking on his door shortly.

-San Diego is on the clock…look for them to take Eli Manning…wait a sec.

Meet the new captain of the Love Boat

-At No. 17 the Vikes snag Chad Greenway who is really, really white. He may get mistaken for the wall in certain buildings. We don’t know if he likes strippers and double-headed fuck toys, but we’ll find out soon. We expect him to buddy up with Fred Smoot.

Drinking game update: Berman has flubbed three lines (by our count) and we still haven’t seen a war room. Take 4 drinks.

-Dallas is on the clock…why aren’t we hearing Ed Werder?

No. 16: Cheech Marin

-Actually Miami goes with Jason Allen, cornerback, Tennessee. But we think Allen should carry on the legacy of Ricky Williams and sell dime bags to the Dolphins’ front office. On second thought, bricks of coke would be cooler.

-Some guys who may be slipping:

  • Winston Justice, USC
  • Antonio Cromartie, FSU
  • Chad Jackson, Florida
  • Aaron Rodgers, Cal
  • DeAngelo Williams, Memphis
  • Aaron Rodgers, Cal

Minnesota is on the clock…if they draft a dildo, we’ll be very pleased. Or maybe they’ll just miss the pick.

Jets’ fans update: 11:45 PST and we’ll assume they’re still pissed. At what? Doesn’t matter.

Brodrick Bunkley has a cool name

-So no WR for the receiver-less Eagles. But the fans at Radio City Music Hall seemed joyous and Philly fans are rarely joyous.

-Three defensive players from FSU in the top-14. Yeah, Bobby Bowden pumps them out.

-We haven’t heard nearly enough of Mel Kiper. Who’s with us?

-If we see that Heineken Light commerical again, we’re gonna throw one of our obnoxious female roommates out the fucking window. Eh, maybe both of them.

-And St. Louis goes with Tye Hill, cornerback, Clemson. We thought that was going to be Chad Greenway, linebacker, Iowa.

-Miami is on the clock…Ricky Williams will not be the pick. Williams is probably high right now.