Rumor: Osi Umenyiora likes to give Cleveland Steamers

Cleveland Steamer \Clee-ve-lande-stee-mer\, noun: A Cleveland Steamer is when a man defecates on a woman’s chest after some period of intercourse. A variation of this is the “chili dog” which takes the Cleveland Steamer one step further by “titty fucking” the woman using the feces as lubricant.

New York Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora may have a fetish. According to a model’s website (NSFW) found by With Leather and Kissing Suzy Kolber, Umenyiora likes to, ugh, well, hmm, better let her explain.

Now let’s talk about Osi Umenyiora of the New York Giants. He does likes it nasty in the bedroom. As a magazine model i get introduced to him last summer in NY by a friend of his who also used to play football for a team that I can’t remember. We hooked up and he had an unusual request. He wanted to pee on me. I thought it was weird but I did so because he said he it would really turn him on and he would see me again if I did. After I did so in his bathroom he handled his business and asked me how I liked it. I said, “I don’t know how I feel about it. It was kind of crazy.”

The next time I was with him he offered me 3 grand if I let him defecate on me and I said no. He told me to leave and so I did. The next time he asked and I did and I accepted the 3 grand. And it became a regular thing.

Now there’s a very good chance that this actually did happen and Umenyiora gets off by dropping a pile-driver shit on a woman’s chest. No way that this is just a swirling Internet rumor. There’s all sorts of credibility behind this. C’mon, there’s a model who has one blog post about the time she got shat on by an NFL player. She’s probably the real Deep Throat.

Sometimes this site writes itself. But this isn’t one of those times because this is hard-hitting news. Yes, hard-hitting. Especially if it’s a tightly-packed turd.