What Materazzi really said to Zidane

This much we know: France’s Zinedine Zidane and Italy’s Marco Materazzi exchanged words in extra time of the World Cup finale before the French captain head-butted, judo chopped and roundhouse kicked the Italian defender.

Based on this ESPN article, we also know that Materazzi didn’t call Zidane a terrorist, and that the insult was acceptable on the soccer field.

What we don’t know are the words actually exchanged. So let’s speculate on what one needs to say to get a scissor kick to the chest in the year’s most important soccer game:

– Lose your hair in those France riots last year?
– You play futbol like a girl… who’s missing her arms and legs and who can’t hear and is probably blind and mute too.
– Wanna do dinner later?
– Those shorts really bring out your ass
– I know what your son is really doing at church. (It’s the priest!)
– Me: Ozzie Guillen. You: Jay Mariotti. Thoughts?
– Bet your prick is smaller than my pinky.
– “Fuck you, dyke”
– Your team defends worse than France did in WWII. Mussolini, bitch!
– Dude, your daughter. Wow. Just wow. And get this: Our kid will have hair!
– You play soccer like an American!

Fine, so he probably just called him a “dirty terrorist.”

Your turn, Big Picture faithful. Let’s get some Zidane insults in the comments section. Best one wins a gold sticker. Fuck, make it two stickers.

In other news: The AL beat the NL 3-2 in the All-Star Game after Eric Gagne surrendered a two-out triple to Hank Blalock.

-Adam Landres-Schnur