Would you do…Linda Cohn?

Why we might:

The easy answer: She’s Jewish. C’mon, you know what that means: likes to drink, likes to party, likes to take it in the pooper fool around. But being Jews ourselves, we’ve come to know such women rather well (wink, wink). And we know they don’t put up a very good fight against dudes who hit on them. Get it? Huh, well do ya? THEY’RE FREAKIN’ SLUTS! No reason to think Cohn is any different.

The more in-depth answer: The fine folks at Wikipedia tell us that this SportsCenter anchor played on her high school’s ice hockey team. We’re banking on Cohn still having the uni. If she does, there is great role-play potential here. Include the stick and we could get some freaky violent shit going on.

Why we might not:

The easy answer: Born November 10, 1959. 1959. That’s like before Dinosaurs roamed the earth. (Or cavemen, if you ask Carl Everett.)

The more in-depth answer: Age is one thing, aging is another. We’ve watched Cohn through the years, and as the age has gone up, the makeup layering has come on. We wouldn’t be at all surprised if she looked like this guy when she’s au natural (that’s french). Face lifts can’t be ruled out in her past or near future, either. This anchor used to be a babe in the ’90s, but the makeup is slathered on thicker than the layer of condoms you’ll need if you want to go through with it.

The answer: We’re pretty sure we could do her considering the Jewish background, but that’s not enough for wanting to do her. A hockey-playing childhood lets the imagination wander to pretty great places — places so great (we’re really thinking a full-on beating with the hockey stick) to make this a “yes” vote. But the Long Islands will have to come in pairs (we see the 2-for-1 Happy Hour special applying). We’ll go ahead and say if we pounded nine stiff ones in 20 minutes or less she’d be worth a screw.

All right, folks. Your turn to decide if Andrews is worth a cheap screw: post a simple “Y” (for yes, “I’d run through that shit”), or “N” (for no, “I wouldn’t touch that with a 10 foot pole”) in the comments sections.

Standings:

• Rachel Nichols was 6 “yes” and 2 “no.”
• Suzy Kolber was 7 “yes” and 2 “no.”
• Melissa Stark was 6 “yes” 0 “no.”
• Lisa Salters was 1 “yes” and 5 “no.”
• Kit Hoover was 1 “yes” 1 “no.”
• Erin Andrews was 8 “yes” and 1 “no.” (The one “no” was from NFL Adam who is being talked to about starring in Brokeback Mountain 2.)

-Adam Landres-Schnur